Episode Report Card Erin: B | 135 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Ding-Dong, The Moronen's Dead!
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 22 | Aired on 2004.05.23
Moronen fully wakes and now launches into her "let's see if I can get him to buy that I did what I did out of love" plan. She blah blahs something about how when the Covenant asked her to marry him, she knew they'd eventually want her to coax him back into the CIA. If he wasn't in the CIA in the first place, why'd they want her to marry him? That makes no sense. Wait. What am I saying? Never mind. Moving on. Vaughn's ignoring her. "Two years went by and I never heard from them," she whimpers. Okay. Wait. Two years went by? Syd was missing for two years. Vaughn didn't marry Moronen until nearly two years AFTER Syd was missing. By this dialogue, we'd have to assume that Moronen met Vaughn about twenty-two seconds after Syd died and married him on the charred remains of someone injected with Syd's DNA. The what? Say it with me, people: GLUG. GLUG. GLUG.
Regina: Speaking of which, where in the HELL is the vat of margaritas I ordered?
Wendy Kroy: It's right next to you. Your elbow is drowning in it.
Regina: Oh. I thought it felt a bit cold. But I thought it was just my stroke acting up again.
Wendy Kroy: No, when your stroke acts up, the left side of your face sags.
Regina: It does? Why did you never tell me that?
Wendy Kroy: Because it's funny. And I never mess with the funny.
Regina: You're really not a nice person, are you?
Wendy Kroy: You're just figuring this out?
So, yeah, Moronen's totally full of shit and says something about hoping the Covenant would never contact her again because by the time two years had passed, she had fallen in love with him. Now that's about all Vaughn can take. "SHUT UP!" he shouts, speaking for billions of Alias fans everywhere. He stalks over to her and gets right up in her face. "I am gonna erase you. I'm gonna remove any evidence that you ever existed. You used me. You used my grief. My work, who I am -- you took that from me. I'm taking it back." He walks back over to his case and pulls out a bottle, telling her (and us) that it's hydrochloric acid. "You'll be unrecognizable," he sneers. Ew. Is he going to just douse her in that stuff? Have you ever seen La Femme Nikita? The movie, dudes, not the show. That scene with The Cleaner, Jean Reno? And the guy in the tub? Who kinda wasn't dead? And the acid? Do you remember the acid? Yeah. Not so nice, the acid.