Episode Report Card Gustave: A- | 238 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Blondes and Bombshells
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2002.10.29
Meanwhile, in a "warehouse" that looks more like a Whitney Biennial art installation than the site of a terrorist action, Mamud Rashed Faheen -- who is kinda hot -- enters. He is just in time to join his TerrorAssociates in watching a TerrorLab technician pour some powder into an opening. "When will the bomb be ready?" asks Mamud of one of his henchmen. "Soon," replies the henchman.
Back at CTU, Darlene sits at her desk and stares catatonically into space. Soul Patch, who wrote the book on how to do nothing at work, tells her to do something Whatever Technology-related. Darlene doesn't answer and keeps staring. Soul Patch prods her some more. "I don't know if I can do this," she says. Soul Patch thinks she's talking about the Whatever Technology, but Darlene is talking about the whole nuclear bomb thing. "I can't work well under this kind of pressure so maybe you should bring in somebody else," she says. Soul Patch assures Darlene that she's the best programmer out there, and she's the only person they can depend on to do the job. He advises her to take it "one task at a time." Darlene either thinks about that really hard or she's just looking down so she can check out Soul Patch's package, until she finally agrees to allow CTU to harness her geek powers for the good of Team USA.
Kiefer enters. Oh yeah, like his old ID still works. His presence causes all of the extras to stop what they were doing and stare at him as he walks in and looks up at Ye Olde KieferKube. I can't figure out if the staring is because he was such a legendary cocksman in the office, or if they're all wondering when the Unabomber got released on bail and started hanging out at CTU. Soul Patch is the first to greet him. Kiefer responds warmly, and they go into the Konfrontational Koffee room to meet with Mason, Nina 2.0, and Darlene. Mason starts to make introductions, but Kiefer kuts him off and demands to know why he's there. Mason tells him about the rogue nuclear weapon planted somewhere in Los Angeles that will go off by the end of the season…I mean, "that day." UnaKiefer asks him what kind of progress they've made so far on locating the bomb and the terrorist cell who planted it. Mason admits that they've got nothing yet. Kiefer stomps out of the office, goes over to Tony's desk, and calls Spawn on her cell phone and tells her to get out of Los Angeles. Is Spawn too stupid to listen to him and get her butt out on the next plane? Need I ask? She hangs up on him. He calls back and leaves a message telling her that it's really important that she leave Los Angeles, with or without Kiefer. "Please, honey, do this for me!" he pleads into Spawn's voicemail. Soul Patch catches up with Kiefer and begs him to stay and take on the investigation. Apparently, they did a background match and found that Kiefer's the only man up to the job. Soul Patch promises to send agents to get Spawn to safety and, unlike last year, not screw up her protection detail. "I trusted everyone at CTU to protect my wife last year and I lost her and I'm not going to lose my daughter," says Kiefer, the Sutherland Velvet turning to sandpaper. "I was there," says Soul Patch. Grizzly Sutherland sidesteps Soul Patch, apologizes, and leaves the building.