Episode Report Card Joe R: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Leftover Pie
By Joe R | Season 6 | Episode 7 | Aired on 02.06.2007
Inside, Paul tells the judges (complete with Olivia Newton-John, who's still very shiny) that he's a "pool technician." That means pool cleaner, yes? "Technician" is just a code for whatever the lowest rung on your particular professional ladder is. Trust me, I've been one plenty of times. Paul sings "If I Ever Fall In Love" by Shai, sounding very traditional R&B. I'm not a fan of the extreme breathiness in his style, not to mention the oversinging and affected runs, but he certainly has a good voice, and Paula and Olivia both seem quite taken with him. Randy calls him "one of the best male voices" he's heard yet, which is just untrue, but nice anyway. Olivia liked the "smokiness" of his voice. Paula kind of wants to do him, but since she can't say that sort of thing, she takes a stroll through Word Village and says a million things that mean nothing, while Simon keeps asking her if she's voting yes or no. I think Simon's not as impressed with Paul as the rest of them, but he at least knows he's supposed to go to Hollywood, so when Paula gets petulant and won't provide a yes or no vote, Simon votes "yes" and passes him through. Bets on whether Paul and William Hung sing a duet at the finale in May?
Ryan's VO says that while Paul was proof of the importance of "improving upon past Idol performances," Jack Odanovich tried to improve upon St. Bo Bice of Credibilia, and that's just something you do not do. Remember when Bo sang all a cappella and crap? Bo's penetrating gaze and shiny hair from that performance fade into Jack singing the "In a Dream" as well, though we'll be charitable and say the vocal quality is disparate. Jack looks like...Jack looks like...okay, picture John Turturro. But then imagine that John Turturro had spent his formative years in one of those darkened crates where they raise veal. The audition goes on beyond forever, and when it's done, Simon calls Jack "incredibly deluded." Jack then apologizes, which always makes me a little sad, even though the judges kind of deserved an apology, and he walks sadly out. Well, that wasn't fun at all. Way to ruin everything, Bo.
Lesson 3: Never Give Up. This lesson, says Seacrest, is all about the past rejectees who auditioned again this year. Let's see if I recognize any of them. Well, first there's Canadian diplomat Jory Steinberg, but I only recognize her from two weeks ago in New York, that doesn't count. Anyone else? Nope, nope, nope, nope, no-- hold up. Buckstein! Matthew Buckstein from last season's Hollywood round! I think I heard Sars "squeee!" from across the state. ["Love that guy! He still has zero shot, but: love!" -- Sars] Then there's a cute boy named Francis with a gothic cross on his t-shirt, who looks like Zack from Heroes before they de-gayed him and made him look dirty all the time. And Simon completely doesn't remember him, which is sad, but you have to figure that even on the off chance Simon did remember him, he totally wouldn't say so anyway. Buck up, Francis. All this leads up to Gina Glocksen, who auditioned last season in Chicago and made it to Hollywood but no further. And then I thought I recognized her for a split second at the Memphis auditions this year, and it turns out I was right. I recall very much enjoying Gina last season, and I don't know whether it's the Joan Jett shag or the tattooed sleeves she's wearing, but I'm not exactly feeling the love this time around.