Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sex Is Like A Misdemeanor
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.24.2004
On The Rocky Outcropping Of Doom For Man-Stealing Hussies And Embarrassing Latino Stereotypes, as matters would have it, watching as his younger son threatens to pitch a scruffy demonic sort into the lakes of Hell unless the scruffy demonic sort tells them everything he knows about Barbas. Big Gay Chris has forced "Phinks" to the edge of the ledge and is keeping him from falling into the pit by holding onto the back of the guy's coat and…I'm not really buying this. Big Gay Chris simply doesn't have the upper-body strength to keep a guy suspended like that, but whatever. He's pretty. Phinks eventually babbles that Barbas cozied up to a couple of Phantasms down in Hell, the plan being to use them to "win" something that would grant him an eternal reprieve. "The case," the Dolt guesses. "He must have used the Phantasm to cut a deal with the demon members of the Tribunal. We need proof." "Whaddya think he is?" Chris snorts, gesturing towards Phinks with his free hand. "He's a demon," the Dolt pffts. "They'll discredit him." Chris, agitated by this second-guessing from the Dolt, temporarily loosens his grip on Phinks's coat, and the demon topples into the fire below. "Shit," Drew Fuller mopes. The editing staff then drags him into a sound booth to overdub -- badly -- "Shoot" instead, for this is not HBO. "Look what you made me do!" Chris howls. The Dolt rolls his eyes around in his scary, gigantic gargoyle head.
Back at the Quadrunal, Snidely's pulled up the scene from "House Call" where Piper snaps out of it to realize that she's vanquished the Manor. We watch that fairly cool restoration effects sequence, then Snidely concludes his case by demanding that "Lef-tenant Morris" be freed. Also, he would like the Glamorous Ladies to be allowed to continue cleaning up after themselves. The Mighty Heads Of Justice are not impressed. Barbas makes with the sarcastic clapping and rises to counter that, as a result of the "evidence" Snidely presented, the current case should be expanded to include an actual indictment of the Charmed Ones' historically reckless tactics. To demonstrate what he means, Barbas conjures up the rooftop torture scene from "Witches in Tights," and aw. Julian McMahon. His wryly bemused delivery of the line "What the hell are you doing?" makes me miss the actor, if not the character. Barbas then sneers, "And where were the Charmed Ones to clean up this mess?" Waving a hand around, he conjures up the bar scene from "Sam I Am." Phoebe rises to object. "That is absurd! That was Cole! We weren't responsible for that -- we weren't even there!" And she's got a point, but Barbas argues that she was there in spirit, or something, and the stupid Quadrunal agrees with him. "Hexes, possession, evil influences, affairs of the heart," he rants, slithering up from his chair and dancing around the platform. "I say we're lucky that all magic has not been exposed beyond repair long before now." Raige shoots him a stink-face as he concludes, "We should not just be deciding the fate of some poor, pathetic mortal -- we should be deciding the fate of these three and whether they should ever be permitted to practice magic again." Fats nods his disembodied head as Jelly Roll intones, "So be it." Phoebe turns to Raige and sighs, pathetic-like. Raige is all, "Whatever, dipshit. Thanks for getting me into this mess, you hosebag." Commercial.