Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sex Is Like A Misdemeanor
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.24.2004
…Not!warts, where Piper, having evidently been clued in by the Dolt, insists on joining her sisters. The Dolt reminds her that the situation was already less than ideal before Barbas showed up. Now that he's a part of tonight's plot, she's far better off remaining where she is. The Dolt eventually cuts to the chase to admit that he orbed to Not!warts so he could ask Piper to ask Big Gay Chris if Big Gay Chris could use his demonic connections to figure out what Barbas is up to this time around. Piper's all, "Ask him yourself, loser," but the Dolt's still being an almighty pussy about last week's glorious smackdown, so Piper wearily rolls her eyes and sighs, "Chris?" My pretty, pretty husband immediately orbs in behind her, but pulls himself up short when he spots his deadbeat dad. "We need your help," Piper informs him, in a tone that indicates she will brook no dissent.
Quadrunal. Snidely argues that the Glamorous Ladies always managed to keep "the big secret" when it mattered, and as evidence of this pulls up a hologram of the gals cleaning up the mess at The Casa Del Sole following the first vanquish of Phoebe's ex-husband. After it reaches the point where Raige recites the "Object of Objection" spell, the hologram disappears, and Snidely adds that "Lef-tenant Morris, whom the Cleaners would have die to cover magic, [was there] instrumental in keeping it protected." Barbas requests the hologram be allowed to play out, and we get to rewatch the bit where Phoebe biffs Raige in the face, which has nothing to do with the matter at hand, but then again, so few of these clips do. What a freaking waste of time.
Barbas counters that the gals are so often under the influence of something or other that it's inevitable they'll screw up and expose magic on a level that cannot be contained. Or something like that. I think I just made his point better than he did. To back up his claim, he replays the later scene from that same episode wherein the Phoetus, through Phoebe, attempts to fry the cop investigating Cole's disappearance. Barbas then flicks his hand around to conjure up the scene from "Bride and Gloom" wherein Piper and Phoebe fuck with the wedding planners. Once that's played itself out, Snidely rises to shout, "I frankly don't see the relevance of any of this!" Join the club, tool. They just wasted five minutes showing us clips that have nothing to do with the case as presented; the wedding planners, if you'll recall, remembered nothing of the incident afterwards, and the attempted toasting of the Cole-investigating detective was passed off as a bizarre trashcan fire. Barbas sneers something about the Charmed Ones getting possessed by outside influences so often that they can no longer be trusted to handle matters on their own. Phoebe, annoyed, wonders where the Dolt is.