Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I screw dead people.
By Demian | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.27.1998
Once Prue has breezily exited the kitchen with a bottle of orange juice, Piper snarls, "Dammit, Phoebe! If you had sent Andy his invitation, we wouldn't be in this mess." Phoebe deflects blame by claiming that Prue doesn't want a party anyway, so what's the big deal if Phoebe flaked on the invitations? You want a list, you stupid little twit? That's a rhetorical question. I haven't the strength to launch into an anti-Phoebe rant this early in the episode. Phoebe blows on out of there, noting that she has a job interview. Piper grunts in exasperation and twitches her head around like Katharine Hepburn in the throes of an especially brutal nicotine fit.
Job interview. Phoebe trails some trendoid tool through a hotel lobby. The tool, who's wearing a charcoal-colored Nehru jacket over a collarless white button-down, is explaining that one of the hotel's trademarks is the "psychic" they have giving readings in the bar area. He asks Phoebe what her gimmick is -- "Tea leaves? Tarot cards?" Phoebe stupidly reveals that she's an actual psychic. The Tool sneers at her and calls for the next candidate. Phoebe quickly grips his arm and babbles out a fake premonition about The Tool's wife catching him having dinner with a blowsy blonde. Phoebe lands the job. Of course. Rrrgh. This is going to be as much fun as an ice-water enema. Not that I'd know what ice-water enemas are like, you understand. It's just that I've seen Eating Raoul far too many times.
Buckland's. Prue's on the phone with Piper as she examines some Vermeer-ish canvas in her office. Basically, Piper begs Prue to delay her departure for Calistoga until that Saturday. Not because Piper's planning a surprise party or anything, but because Phoebe wants to give Prue a present that Friday evening. Phoebe even went out and got a job to pay for the thing! Prue snorts and asks Piper which corner Phoebe's working. Well, not really, but she does inquire as to the nature of this supposed job. Conveniently, Piper spies a circled ad in that morning's Chronicle, which someone has left on the kitchen table. The ad reads, "PSYCHICS WANTED." More interesting is the ad directly above that one. "Sam" is looking for a "NAANY." "Preference to cook is a help," but the successful candidate "must be experienced in English." If the ad's anything to go by, Sammy wouldn't recognize Experience In English if Experience In English ran its frisky hand down the back of his boxer shorts while shoving its tongue in his ear. Anyway, Piper realizes that Phoebe's fucked up yet again, and quickly natters something dismissive to Prue before hanging up. Piper rolls her eyes and sighs.