Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I screw dead people.
By Demian | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.27.1998
Manor. Phoebe bangs on the bathroom door, begging Prue to come out and talk. Piper wanders up, wondering what gives. Phoebe reveals that the restaurant called while she and Piper were out, so Prue found out about the surprise party. Prue emerges, wrapped in a towel, to bitch at them for throwing her a party when she specifically told them blah blee bitch blah blah Demian is terribly annoyed with this subplot. Mark Chao, Corpse About Town ambles through the hallway looking for the newspaper. Prue shrieks, "Hey! I'm almost nekkid over here!" "What's the drunk from the hotel doing here?" Phoebe asks. Mark indignantly insists that he's not a drunk as he averts his gaze from Prue's vast expanse of moist flesh before the sight melts the eyes right out of his skull. Piper fills her sisters in on the whole ghost thing. Her sisters scoff. Piper tosses a coffee mug through Mark's body. Phoebe and Prue goggle as Mark looks woefully put-upon.
Kitchen, some time later, as Prue is now dry and fully dressed. Phoebe wonders how Piper knows Mark's not meant to go to Hell with the Yama-Lama-Ding-Dong. What? Shut up. If I have to have that annoyance masquerading as a novelty song thundering through my head, so do you. Piper's convinced that Mark's an innocent. If he weren't, she argues, they wouldn't be able to see him. Not necessarily true, as their experience with the Brothers Mandylor tells us, but Piper clearly doesn't realize that yet. Her plan is to ensure that Mark's crispy remains receive a proper burial, so that he can move on to wherever it is pleasant young Chinese-American men go when they've been shot and burned. Prue asks if Piper's contacted the police yet. Piper admits that she has, but she wants to keep Mark at the Manor until the police have had an opportunity to speak with his mother. She intends to urge Mark's mom to hold a service as soon as possible. Um, excuse me? Honey, if my kid just died and you showed up to tell me what to do with the remains, you'd find yourself with a size nine footprint on your meddling ass.
At that moment, Phoebe gets a call from The Tool and heads off to work the evening shift. Once she's gone, Prue segues to the topic of Andy and his suspicious ex-wife. Piper's shocked that Andy would have neglected to tell Prue something so "important," and the Glamorous Ladies have totally lost me on this one. If Prue and Andy are engaged in a casual dating relationship, why would she care how many ex-wives he has scattered up and down the West Coast? Also, Andy and the ex clearly have an amiable post-divorce relationship, so shouldn't that be a good sign? Whatever. Moving on.