Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I screw dead people.
By Demian | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.27.1998
Cross-fade to Manor that evening. Up in the kitchen, a rubber-gloved Prue scours the stovetop furiously. Heh. Phoebe enters the kitchen and eventually joins her sister in attacking the dark demonic grease smears with a sponge. As Phoebe never lifts a finger to clean around the house, Prue knows there's something bothering her. Phoebe sighs and fills Prue in on her wallet premonition, then admits to her job as the hotel's "lounge psychic." Rather than howling about personal gain as Piper did earlier, Prue simply states that Phoebe should head back to the hotel to ensure Mr. Correy's safety. Phoebe says that she waited at the guy's room until he and the wife went to bed, then broke a key off in his lock, so Correy's not going anywhere soon. Like that hotel wouldn't have converted to key cards by the time this episode originally aired. Phoebe then wonders why Prue isn't apoplectic with rage over Phoebe's choice of employment. Prue smiles and notes that Phoebe was trying to do something good when she took the job. "And now you're going to get to do something wonderful," Prue explains. "I couldn't ask for a better birthday present than that." Phoebe grins happily, and Prue allows herself a warm smile in responzzzzzzzzzzzzzsnorf! What? Hunh? Is it over yet?
Piper and Mark thankfully stomp into the kitchen at this point to give the A-plot a kick in the ass. Piper grabs the remote and flicks on the little countertop television set. A reporter is noting that Mark's body was found by the police, but because of that ring the hood placed on his finger, the remains have been identified as those of "Tony Wong, head of the 'Chinatown Triads.'" The image on the screen switches over to a mug shot of Wong, and to the surprise of no one, it's the guy who shot Mark. A free-floating premonition emanates from the TV to beat Phoebe like a red-headed stepchild. She sees Tony Wong loading a gun at a table. Interestingly, Phoebe struggles to hang on to the vision and succeeds long enough to copy down the Chinese characters she sees on the wall over Wong's head. Mark looks at the characters and translates them as "Wu Han Imports," the name of a shipping warehouse over in Chinatown. The Glamorous Ladies glance at each other, no doubt formulating a cunning plan.
Wu Han's Den Of Imports And Iniquity. Piper and Mark quietly edge through the lower level. Were The Corpse About Town still able to urinate, he'd be pissing himself with fear right now. As it is, he repeatedly warns Piper that she can't handle Wong and his heavily-armed posse on her own. Piper tells him to cram it, reminding him that if she can freeze an ancient Chinese Hell escort, she can certainly handle a couple of low-rent thugs. They tiptoe up a set of stairs towards the closed door on the upper landing. Mark spots an amulet hanging on the doorframe and whines that he can't go in! They've protected the room against ghosts! Piper glares at him, snatches the amulet off its hook, and hurls it to the floor. Beat. "Um. Never mind." Snerk. Piper flings open the door and immediately freezes the four gentlemen in the room. She props a copy of that morning's "Herald" in Tony's arms. The banner headline screams, "TONY WONG FOUND DEAD." Piper returns to Mark's side and snaps a photo of Tony with the newspaper. Unfortunately, the strobing light from the camera's flash unfreezes Wong and his boys, who snarl and threaten and scamper after Piper with guns drawn. By the way, none of the hoods has changed clothes since they torched Mark's corpse. What's the point of getting into organized crime if you have to wear the same damn thing every day like you're some short-order cook slinging hash in an IHOP? I want some Armani, dammit!