Episode Report Card Gustave: A- | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Rock on, Bride of Kiefer!
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 2002.01.08
Hey, it's that Chris Isaak video with Helena Christensen where the two moist lovers cavort under the palm trees. No, wait -- it's Spawn and Rick, standing near some mud-hut and washing up after the burial. "We've got to get out of here!" says Spawn for the fifty-ninth time since midnight. Rick assures her that he'll be allowed to leave now that EFB #2 is buried, and when he does, he'll call her father and tell him where she is. Spawn argues that he's not going to be allowed to leave. Rick keeps whistling in the dark.
Kiefer reaches the CTU Parking lot at 6:08:22 AM. He parks the TerrorTaurus and enters the building, passing a parked car where a mysterious figure -- probably one of Gaines's men -- watches him walk across the parking lot. Gaines tells him that his duty is to replace the keycard that Nina, Jalapeno, and Milo are trying to decrypt with the keycard from the TerrorTaurus sun visor. "Because we're getting too close?" asks Kiefer. "Just do it!" rasps Gaines. "And remember, I can hear everything!" I'm having a flashback to when I had a paper route, and there was this fussy old man on my route who lived alone who had Ira Gaines's exact voice and kept accusing me of leaving his paper in a puddle in his yard on purpose. And he was right. Nina makes a beeline for Kiefer as soon as she sees him. "I have been trying to reach you for the last half hour," she says. "What the hell is going on?" Kiefer lies and says that Spawn has been found and everything is okay. Nina asks if Kiefer got her message about Alan York being the John Doe. Kiefer reacts to this bit of news, running up the stairs to his office to have a private conversation with Gaines. "If Alan York is dead, then who is the man with my wife?" whispers Kiefer through their satellite communication whatever. "He's not an accountant from the valley, that's for sure," says Gaines. Again Kiefer threatens to kill Gaines if his wife or daughter are harmed. Gaines fires a gun near the phone to illustrate what is going to happen to Kiefer's bride and spawn if Kiefer doesn't do as he's told. This hurts Kiefer's ears. Now it's time for Kiefer to find a way of switching the keycards without drawing attention to himself. While Kiefer stares at Milo through the glass walls in his office, Gaines gets on his cell phone and calls NotYork. NotYork's phone is off, so Gaines leaves him a message, giving him a heads-up on the fact that Bride might be onto his real identity.