Episode Report Card Gustave: A- | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Rock on, Bride of Kiefer!
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 2002.01.08
Gaines is all evasive about payment and tells Rick to stay put. "I've got a couple more things for you to do," says Gaines. "Then we can talk about when you can go." I just gotta say a couple of things here. As a freelancer, I am always having to deal with clients like Gaines, and it bugs the living crap out of me. They're really vague about everything, but when you actually invoice them for the hours you spent flipping through InStyle in their reception area because they wanted you to stick around "just in case," all of a sudden they've got an Excel Spreadsheet detailing the number of bathroom breaks you took in September of 1997. Sure, I wasn't actually working during every single hour that I billed you for, but my time is valuable, and if you're not paying for it, then I should be free to go work for someone else who will. Not to mention that all of your salaried employees have been doing nothing but going out for coffee and emailing each other porn all day. Another thing? Gaines needs to get a secretary or an assistant or something. I mean, if this is a multi-million-dollar terrorist organization and he's supposed to be watching Kiefer on the KieferKonsole and making sure he doesn't look too hard at kops or pass notes to his ko-workers, that's got to require his undivided attention, right? How is he supposed to do his job effectively if anyone can just barge in to his office and ask him a question that really could be fielded by personnel or an office manager? Yeah, a lot of these boomer executives think they're too cool to have their own secretary because it's old-fashioned, hierarchical, and expensive. And they all give you this big line about how the company is one big casually dressed happy family and you can use his first name and knock on his office door anytime, but I can't tell you how many times I've done just that, only to find that I'm interrupting an important conference call or a blowjob from the director of operations. Then I have to stand there paralyzed for five minutes, apologizing like an idiot and making everything worse. It can be annoying at times to be glad-handed by a third party, but it's so much more preferable to walking in on a Tin Lizzy air guitar solo or a speakerphone consultation with a proctologist. Rick and Gaines stare at each other really hard. Rick finally exits. Gaines goes back to the KieferKonsole with a shit-eating "I just fucked with my underling's head" grin on his face.