Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Take Seattle To The Zoo
By Jacob Clifton | Season 6 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.16.2007
Contestants we'll never see: Scary Girl who sounds like she's Barfing, several times; Hopping Man, and lots of a Michael Bustamante, singing Michael Jackson passably but weirdly, and again Paula saying Oh My God and Wow. Then, the tragic David Mills (21, Ottowa KS), who I don't even really have much to say about. He's a goob, bad skin and hair, strange clothes, squeaking pubescent voice, tooth gap and not the good kind. He's like if Jon Peter Lewis got into a matter-transmission machine and unbeknownst to him there was also Timmy Kirk and their DNA was hopelessly and terrifyingly mixed and muddled up by science. He sings "Lean On Me," horribly, and at the end Simon explains to him how this Seattle audition is one of the worst they've ever had, and that of the Day One nightmares, he is the worst. There's a short montage of people not buying their critiques, and then back to David: "It's been a major wakeup call for me." Sometimes it's good when a dream dies.
The Malakars, two adorable Indian kids (Lacey and/or Federal Way WA), tell Ryan they've never met before, but of course they're siblings. Their dad is a classical Indian musician: "He started us as singers," the girl says, "... and gave us our voices," her little brother finishes. They laugh about how they're auditioning separately but that each is better than the other, and she shoves him -- after inquiring of a producer whether she's supposed to shove him. This is made-up drama at this point: sibling rivalry, talk about that. They're pretty game. The girl is up first, and Paula mangles her name, Shyamali Malakar (19), but the girl is super confident and gets to her song, "Summertime," with a quickness. She's beautiful. Her voice is a little young and clearly nervous, but good, and by the end she's doing great. Paula tells her that she's "better than she thinks," and advises that she work on confidence, and also that she's "very subtle but great," with "good energy." I knew all it would take is noticing the existence of one female contestant and Paula would be totally sweet. Simon complains that Shyamali's "nothing original," and Randy clarifies that she's got some work to do to find out who exactly she is. She offers to sing more for them, and Paula reminds her that she just got two qualified yeses and should hush. Simon pronounces her "meh" but goes along with "Squiggly" and "Wiggly," and Randy and Paula tell her to work on her repertoire, her showmanship and her dynamics, which Simon laughs about: "Change everything, yeah?"