|
6-8 2003.02.23 |
So Long, And Thanks For All The Dick Goodnight moon. Goodnight spoon. Goodnight neck-string. Goodnight prag flings. Farewell, valiant prisoners of Oz. 'Tis a far far better place you go to now. |
| 6-8 Recap |
So Long, And Thanks For All The Dick
Exeunt Omnes - Goodnight moon. Goodnight spoon. Goodnight neck-string. Goodnight prag flings. Farewell, valiant prisoners of Oz. 'Tis a far far better place you go to now. |
2003.02.23 2003.03.02 |
B |
Aaron |
| 6-7 Recap |
The Pest Savant at the End of the Universe
Junkyard Dawgs - Whether it's Leo winning a lifetime achievement award, or the dumbest man in Oz mathematically proving that a lack of light will one day destroy the entire universe, this penultimate episode serves up all sorts of tiny treats. There's also pot brownies, drag queens, and the unforgettable image of Keller French-kissing Vern Schillinger. What's not to like? |
2003.02.16 2003.02.23 |
B |
Aaron |
| 6-6 Recap |
Baldness <> Death
A Day In The Death - Flouting established HBO conventions at every turn, this episode proves that sandwiches really do bring families closer together, and that a freshly shorn scalp doesn't always mean instantaneous death. What's next -- an episode where nobody swears? |
2003.02.09 2003.02.16 |
B |
Aaron |
| 6-5 Recap |
Stool Pigeon
4Giveness - Keller's a rat, Cyril's incontinent, Beecher's back in Oz, and Patti isn't dead yet. |
2003.02.02 2003.02.09 |
B |
Aaron |
| 6-4 Recap |
Super Hole
A Failure To Communicate - While everyone else was watching the Super Bowl, Beecher was busy throwing a judicial block to spring Keller from death row. Meanwhile, Governor Y.A. Little complains about the murder rate in Oz, the Muslims are forced to trot out their back-up quarterback, Robson helps Cutler improve his hang time after enduring one too many roughing the kicker penalties, Crackhead Cosby suffers a mutiny when he calls in the wrong play, Alvarez suffers the heartbreak of seeing his girlfriend sign a free-agent contract with a rival team, and I'm forced to mentally deploy Tampa Bay's ferocious "cover two" defense against the prospect of a naked Rebadow reading aloud to an equally naked and also cancerous Patti LuPone. |
2003.01.26 2003.02.02 |
B+ |
Aaron |
| 6-3 Recap |
Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, he is free at last!
Sonata da Oz - On the eve of Martin Luther King day, Tobias Beecher finally walks free out of Oz and promptly celebrates by putting on the ugliest sweater since before Cosby was a crackhead. And then a black civil rights leader gets assassinated. Someone in the HBO scheduling department has a really sick sense of humor. |
2003.01.19 2003.01.26 |
B |
Aaron |
| 6-2 Recap |
There is no spoon.
See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Smell No Evil - Just keep telling yourself that. Over and over and over again. |
2003.01.12 2003.01.19 |
B |
Aaron |
| 6-1 Recap |
Do you shiv or swallow?
Dead Man Talking - There comes a time in every prag's life when he must choke down his fears, suck up to his boss, and provide that one special service that will earn his freedom. This is that time for Cindy Brady. |
2003.01.05 2003.01.12 |
B |
Aaron |
| 5-8 Recap |
Limp Bizkit
Impotence - We laughed. We cried. It was better then Cats. It was, too, so just shut up, Betty Buckley. |
2002.02.24 2002.02.26 |
B |
Chuck |
| 5-7 Recap |
Ghetto Fabulous
Good Intentions - In which our plucky band of criminals learns that, if you're a vituperative white supremacist with receding gums, you should never, ever make fun of a dentist. |
2002.02.17 2002.02.23 |
B- |
Chuck |
| 5-6 Recap |
Song, Song...Ewww
Variety - In this week's Very Special Episode, Beecher sings and Schillinger dances. Father Mukada endures his very own disco inferno. Said returns to the human race. Half the cast relocates to Benchley Memorial. And, bless his little heart, Timmy Kirk finally gives head. |
2002.02.10 2002.02.13 |
B |
Chuck |
| 5-5 Recap |
Misfortune
Wheel of Fortune - Says it all. In a word. |
2002.02.03 2002.02.06 |
D |
Chuck |
| 5-4 Recap |
Dog Doo
Next Stop Valhalla - The inmates train seeing-eye dogs. Perhaps they should try giving the dogs to the staff. |
2002.01.27 2002.01.30 |
C- |
Chuck |
| 5-3 Recap |
Life is but a ream
Dream a Little Dream of Me - Hey, it's Oz. Where everybody gets fucked. Except Beecher. And he's the only one who really wants it. |
2002.01.20 2002.01.25 |
B |
Chuck |
| 5-2 Recap |
Men Behaving Badly
Laws of Gravity - During which no one does anything that's remotely out of character. |
2002.01.13 2002.01.16 |
B- |
Chuck |
| 5-1 Recap |
The Naked and the Dead
Visitation - So many subplots, so little of interest. Oodles of manflesh, suffering womanfolk, and all the usual labyrinthine, headache-inducing twists and turns. |
2002.01.06 2002.01.12 |
C |
Chuck |
| 4-16 Recap |
Clayton Hears A Who
Famous Last Words - A tale of the show called Oz That, at best, covered all known faux pas I'm paid to recap it But instead formed the habit Of drinking wine quickly through straws. |
2001.02.25 2001.03.03 |
C |
Megyn |
| 4-15 Recap |
Poet's dead society
Even The Score - They kill Tug real good in this one. Elsewhere, Beecher gets permission to be paroled. I form a large bruise from slapping my forehead. It's good clean fun for the whole family. |
2001.02.18 2001.02.25 |
C |
Megyn |
| 4-14 Recap |
Ryan's Hope
Orpheus Rising - Turns out Arif saw Ryan greasing Keenan, but only just now told anyone. Uh-huh. Now he wants Ryan sent to death row. That story is as believable as the one I gave my boss when I was late three days in a row. |
2001.02.11 2001.02.18 |
C |
Megyn |
| 4-13 Recap |
War...what is it good for?
The Blizzard Of '01 - This is the question Hill raises as he fights for a better tomorrow. Burr thinks tomorrow is just fine as it is, and the boys all get restless as they get ready to rumble like it's 1999. |
2001.02.04 2001.02.11 |
B |
Megyn |
| 4-12 Recap |
Do you like gladiator movies?
Cuts Like A Knife - With those good looks, Ryan doesn't necessarily need to sing well. It's not that he's that bad, mind you; it's just that he sounds like he's wheezing it out, but hey, it sure is real sweet. Poor Alvarez doesn't get any love, from friends or foes. He returns to solitary and asks Mr. Hanky, the listless poo, what to do. |
2001.01.28 2001.02.05 |
B+ |
Megyn |
| 4-11 Recap |
West Suck Story
Revenge Is Sweet - Keller, starring in his own version of Splendor In The Ass which, quite frankly, I did NOT need to see, is just one of the many things that made my head hurt during this episode, which seems to have sprung from the mad pen of some daytime TV writer that has taken the Oz writing staff and done something horrible with them. Like make them watch it. On the plus side, the Foley artists do quite a job. On the job. If you know what I mean. And I think you do. |
2001.01.21 2001.01.28 |
D |
Megyn |
| 4-10 Recap |
There once was a healer from Nantucket
Conversions - Join me as I jab various household appliances into my eye, in the hopes of piercing my brain. Also, I yell and swear a lot whenever Dr. Nathan sells out, or McManus grosses me out. Which is a lot. |
2001.01.14 2001.01.23 |
B |
Megyn |
| 4-9 Recap |
Return of the Jab-eye
Medium Rare - It’s the first of the second half of the fourth Oz season (whew!) and we’re delighted by the fact that Claire still has her bangs, as well as the hots for Ryan. Who doesn’t? Elsewhere, we learn that Ally Sheedy has managed to maintain a career outside of St. Elmo’s. |
2001.01.07 2001.01.16 |
A- |
Megyn |
| 4-8 Recap |
In The Claire
You Bet Your Life - And he really is. Front, back, top, bottom, feathered bangs and all. Elsewhere, some other high-drama stuff tries to inflict itself on my unsuspecting cornea, but my attention only wavers back to thoughts of Ryan O'Reily and Claire. Then I black out, waking to find the season finale'd, right before my once-virgin eyes. |
2000.08.30 2000.08.31 |
D- |
Djb |
| 4-7 Recap |
Shock The Ducky
A Town Without Pity - Stanislofsky prepares to meet his end, but not before one last bath with his rubber friend. The death row two continue to be Shirley lacking in story lines, and Querns gets that not-so-fresh feeling when his flowing locks continue to stain the back of his sports jackets. |
2000.08.23 2000.08.31 |
D- |
Megyn |
| 4-6 Recap |
Yawn. Look, Another Penis.
A Word To The Wise - Full-frontal goes full-tilt this week as Keller twice stares us down unblinkingly with one eye while we try not to stare back. With Ryan, we don't even pretend we're not looking. And that's okay. |
2000.08.16 2000.08.18 |
D- |
Djb |
| 4-5 Recap |
Once, Twice, Three Times As Shady
Gray Matter - McManus has his hang-ups, but hey! He's still employed. Schillinger shows his soft underbelly...or does he? Come to think of it, I don't really want to see his belly. Poor Beecher is just stumped. |
2000.08.09 2000.08.16 |
D- |
Megyn |
| 4-4 Recap |
The Love Pope
Works Of Mercy - Captain Stubing takes his patented brand of hijinks to Em City, but when he surfaces in this millennium, the vibes are more god-lovin' then good-lovin'. Special appearances by Lionel Richie and McGruff the Crime Fighting Dog. Good thing McManus returns to Oz just in time to fill out this law-enforcing, singing-and-dancing trio. |
2000.08.02 2000.08.03 |
D- |
Djb |
| 4-3 Recap |
The Bill Of Wrongs
The Bill Of Wrongs - Irony doesn't actually have to, you know, fall on us like a sack of iron -- we get that prison is unfair. |
2000.07.26 2000.07.26 |
D- |
Megyn |