Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Take Seattle To The Zoo
By Jacob Clifton | Season 6 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.16.2007
Paula asks what makes him special and he says that he is a leader who projects well and stays on key, mentioning his "leader voice" status in choirs of old. Simon asks what else makes him unique, and he kind of wigs out for a second, closing his eyes. "I'm a lot different from a lot of other people," he explains. This being self-evident, Randy asks if he maybe means his voice, and not his total screwball weirdness; he agrees that this is "reasonable" to say. Paula reminds us that "Unchained Melody" is Simon's favorite song, and he nods. "That's what I've been told." What is it like to stay in your house all day? He sings in a way which is both creepy and aggressive, while being completely internal and heart-tenderizing. It goes on way too long; he sways back and forth until Randy and Paula follow along, but he doesn't notice, because he's in Crazytown. My friend Matt saw the lead singer of Crazytown at Sanrio. He goes, "You know who I saw at Sanrio?" I said Gwen Stefani, because obviously, and he shook his head and said "Crazytown" and I said, "How could you tell?" He said it's so totally obvious, and I asked if he still looks like that, and my friend Matt said, "Less shiny." That was like the best conversation I've had all week, but a lot of that has to do with Matt being awesome and less to do with the... well, I've wandered. I don't like these things they do on this show. Sorry.
It's pretty boring, his eyes are giant and weird, he's really trying hard, obviously, and I mean there are not enough props for how deeply warm I feel toward the guy, but I mean. He hits the high high part, looking wildly, bug-eatingly crazy as he does, and finally Randy just starts laughing, and things go south some more, and he sings like the entire song. And such is the frenzy and emotional confusion and eye-bugging weirdness of it all that it's like, "Unchained Melody" is supposedly a love song, like a love ballad for getting in people's knickers. But if Nick Cave, say, or Xiu Xiu covered this song, you know how it would be scary and like a song about drowning your pregnant wife in the river somehow? Or like how all women wear red dresses and suck out a man's life and tell me about the rabbits and this type of thing, is how this is, and not on purpose. You feel kind of PJ Harvey'd by the song, and I didn't think that was possible with this song. I've felt Crate & Barrel'd and Pier One'd and occasionally chamomiled by the song, but never this. It's gothic, what this kid is doing to this song.