Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | 498 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT I'm a Guay? No, Uruguay!
By Miss Alli | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2004.07.06
We glide over to find our teams at the end of the Santa Monica Pier, all lined up in their traditional cantaloupe shape, like they're a college a cappella group preparing to sing "Is She Really Going Out With Him?" Phil lectures the teams that of the thirteen legs, there will be eight elimination points. He explains about how they have to pay for everything but plane tickets with their own money, and adds that even in the non-elimination legs, you won't want to be last, because it will make your life difficult in a way that he's not going to specify just yet. Phil tells them that their first clue is waiting with their luggage up the pier a bit, and when he gives the word, they can go. They'll get their clues and then head for one of the marked cars waiting in the parking lot. He mentions the million-dollar prize again, and they all clap, like, "Yay, money!" I think they forgot all about the money. And now for Phil's traditional sendoff: "The world is waiting for you. Good luck. Travel safe." He raises his arm and gives a massive eyebrow pop, which I am taking as a shout-out. "GO!"
Everybody tears off down the pier past Phil, with a couple of wipeouts along the way. He leans back, doing his "please don't flatten the host" thing, which I still love. There is running. Running! And yelling. Yelling! I really missed the running and yelling. I missed everything, actually. Even with Alison, I'm happy. "Charla, come on, come on," Mirna nags, pulling Charla by the hand. Is that faster, with the pulling? I can't imagine it is. The rest of the teams get out a bit ahead of Charla and Mirna, and Mirna's again with the "Come on, Charla, run, run." First to arrive at the luggage are Colin and Donny, followed quickly by everybody else. The group tears into their envelopes. Rrrrrrip! What a great sound. Christie reads the clue, which says that they need to find "the hand in the sand" in Uruguay. If this doesn't cause you to spend three days singing something like, "Put your hand in the sand of the man from Uruguay" to yourself, you're a better person than I am. Or at least a luckier one, with less extensive history of camp songs.
Anyway, Uruguay. Hey, new country! The teams are given options of only two flights. And for whatever reason, they've been given $97.23 for the first leg by the jokers in race logistics. Perhaps your local numerologist can tell you whether there's some way that 97.23 spells F-A-M-E-W-H-O-R-E, because I wouldn't put it past...well, the jokers in race logistics. "You can do it, baby," Colin says to Christie as they take off. "Let's GO!" squawks KamiKarli with KarliKami right behind her. As Dennis and Erika run, he asks her if she saw that he got tripped. "Yes," she says. Colin and Christie seem to be first into their car, but the other YDCs and the twins are close on their heels. "Screeeeeeech!" says a car squealing away from the pier. Charla and Mirna have reached their clue, and seem happy about the idea of Uruguay. Cars continue to roll out, and KamiKarli sticks her arm out the window of the car and goes, "Woooooo!" It seems to me that KamiKarli might want to save up some of her "Woooooo!" for something more exciting than leaving a parking lot. The cars streak down the road and out the exit.