Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | 498 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT I'm a Guay? No, Uruguay!
By Miss Alli | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2004.07.06
Charla and Mirna are cousins, and Mirna, a chirpy blonde with big hair, starts things off very badly by jumping down and starting off the wrong way from the truck. That is not a good sign at all. "Jump out of the truck and take a right" is a direction you should be able to successfully follow if you're thinking you're going to be able to find your way to little red and yellow flags in the middle of the jungle later. Charla has a form of dwarfism, and Mirna points out that a lot of people look at Charla and see someone short. I will admit that I look at Charla and see someone short, so up to this point, I am apparently one of the bad people. But then Mirna says that people "automatically assume [Charla's] going to be weak," and I certainly wouldn't assume that. Especially after the shot of Charla carrying Mirna on her shoulders, which is pretty cool and makes me feel like I'm standing on my head and watching The Mighty. In less auspicious news, Mirna calls Charla not only "tough" but also "feisty." I've said it before, and I'll almost surely say it again -- the word "feisty" should only be used ironically. Never self-identify as "feisty," ever. Feisty Charla says that the race will be a great chance to "break all stereotypes about little people." Keep that in mind for later.
Dennis and Erika are another of your Young Dating Couples, which are in abundant supply this year. She's very (very) blonde, while he's very (very) cute. They used to be engaged, but not anymore. Wow, that sounds...promising, if you like pain and awkwardness. Dennis calls Erika "high-maintenance," which reminds me that after "feisty," "high-maintenance" is close on my list of things that you should never say about yourself or your partner. Erika calls the show their "ultimate love test." Uh...ultimate love test? Ew. Why would you risk having to ultimately test your love on no sleep without access to Diet Coke or dental floss? Never test your love when your teeth are furry. She says the race will "amplify who [they] both really are" so that they can see if they're compatible. Why people so often want to test their compatibility in ordinary circumstances by exposing themselves to extraordinary circumstances always kind of confounds me, and this is no exception.