Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | 498 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT I'm a Guay? No, Uruguay!
By Miss Alli | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2004.07.06
Oh...sheesh. You know, I generally believe in retiring jokes after a reasonable period of time, so I would have anticipated letting poor wrinkly God bathe in peace for all eternity. We've done the shirts, we've shaken our heads...you know the drill. But it can't be avoided, really, because this is exactly what I'm talking about. It is things like the idea that you can freely either walk or take a taxi because God will make sure it doesn't cause you to lose that send my blood pressure soaring. God keeping you safe? Sure. God helping you deal with stressful situations? Okay. But God having a hand in whether you walk or take a taxi? No. Just, no. Just because it's old doesn't mean it isn't still true, Brandon: God really is in the tub.
Furthermore, I have to say, they've had some strange dudes on reality television over time, but Brandon gives me the heebie-jeebies like nobody has in quite a while. I can't explain it, he just completely creeps me out. ["The dude scalped Christopher Atkins. No explanation necessary." -- Sars] But...anyway. The walking teams wind up on the same ferry, a bit behind the taxi-taking teams, or so it appears. Nicole does not look happy. She should relax and enjoy the patriarchy.
Here comes the second bus, featuring your trailing American Airlines crowd. There is clue-ripping at the Hand. Incidentally, Marshall and Lance would like you to know that they have a pizza joint, and it has promotional hats and shirts. Don't you want one? Yeah, me neither.
At Gorriti Island, the ferry carrying Alison and Donny, Bob and Joyce, and Karli/Kami pulls in. They run for the clue box. Rrrrrip! The clue tells them to search an area of nearby trees for a ferry ticket. There are three ferries, each of which leaves at a different time. As Phil explains, the ferries leave at 8:00, 8:30, and 9:00, but the clue doesn't say that. Once you rip yourself a ticket, you can't get another one, so the idea is that you'd look long enough to figure out what the times are, and then you would try to get the best available. It's very much like what they did on last season's premiere with the buses. Alison tells Donny to look for the times before he rips anything. The teams wander around and look at the trees, but not having seen anything except 8:30 and 9:00, Kami and Karli decide to rip off an 8:30 departure. Way to go, fast girls. Bob and Joyce and Alison and Donny, however, work the problem through and grab themselves 8:00 departures.