Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | 498 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT I'm a Guay? No, Uruguay!
By Miss Alli | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2004.07.06
When Jim and Marsha and Charla and Mirna arrive at the trees, Mirna proposes working together, but Marsha isn't so interested. Mirna bitches in an interview -- and seriously, did she pack hot rollers? -- that Marsha didn't want to cooperate. As they run around in the trees, Marsha finds a 9:00 AM, but when Mirna asks her if she's found anything, she denies it. When Marsha finds an 8:30, she just goes for it. When Mirna finds an 8:30, she pulls it also. "Nobody's helping us," Mirna says unhappily. "Has anybody helped us yet?" she asks Charla. "Never," Charla emphatically agrees. What happened to "independent," there, ladies? Mirna interviews that once someone else helps them, they'll offer help back, but until then, "everybody fend for themselves." I don't think I've ever seen a team so preoccupied with how much help they are or are not getting. It kind of reminds me of the way Reichen was always much more concerned about how people were going to react to his sexuality than anyone else was. Mirna needs to notice that nobody else is thinking about you at this point, for good or for ill -- they're thinking about themselves, and not being last. She's grating big-time with this whole thing, especially when she comments to Charla as they exit the trees, "They're playing nice, but they're not." Oh, feh, "nice." "Nice" is for dull people and hot asses. ["Also, I know I crab about this every season, but…Amazing RACE, people! Race! And not the Special Olympics kind where everyone gets a medal! You want help, go on The Amazing Boy Scouts! Race! Hate! Gah!" -- Sars]
The walking teams' ferry lands, and they head into the trees. Linda and Karen find themselves an 8:00 departure and a 9:00. Nicole finds a 9:00, and Brandon says maybe they should just grab that, but Nicole protests and wants to keep looking. Linda and Karen take the 8:00, while Nicole keeps looking for a better deal than 9:00. As they're debating, here come the last four teams from the American flight on their ferry. Colin unhappily notes that Brandon and Nicole are still looking, and he does a very smart thing, which is to confirm that nobody's seen anything later than 9:00, so I think he knows he has nothing to lose by continuing to look. But the teams really do just sort of take what's available, because although they don't realize it at first, 9:00 is all that's left. Marshall and Lance, Colin and Christie, Brandon and Nicole, Dennis and Erika, and Chip and Kim all wind up on the last ferry. And Brandon offers some kind of regretful statement about not listening to Nicole, but honestly, it's a little late, kid. Chip says that he took one look at the ticket and realized that they were with "the bottom-feeders."