Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | 498 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT I'm a Guay? No, Uruguay!
By Miss Alli | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2004.07.06
Alison and Donny are out in the lead, and he's carrying the beef, and she warily comments, "You've got a dog following you." Um, hee. I hate her, but still. The poor dog looks at the camera like, "What? It's 50 pounds of raw meat, dude. What would you do? Besides, now I'm the most famous dog in Uruguay. Hi, Mom!" Joyce urges a slow-walking Bob along. Charla is trying to hold up the end of Mirna's meat (ew), but Mirna is shrieking, "No, I got it! Just tell me which way to go!" Just then, we see Alison and Donny pass the Yield marker.
Okay, so the deal with the Yield is that when you get to the Yield, you can find out which teams are behind you. Then, you can decide to "Yield" one of them, meaning that when they reach that marker, they'll have to stand around while an hourglass runs out. Wow, that is a horrible idea. I can't imagine anything less satisfying than seeing Guido, for instance, lose because somebody flipped a card on them, as opposed to by...you know, losing. The only good news in sight is that each team can only use it once, and the continued bad news is that there is no limit to how many times you can have it used against you. So yes, you can gang up on the team that looks the strongest and make the race much harder on them than it is on anyone else. It's an utterly ass concept from start to finish, if only because now, we're going to have to listen to these people give the "I lost because I was a threat" speech to which every other show subjects us, and that's just...sad.
Anyway, Donny says he and Alison won't be Yielding anyone, because they're in the front of the pack, so why bother?
Jim and Marsha and Kami/Karli are back at the dock, and they're still. Looking. For. The. Flag. But finally, they manage to find it and rip the Maldonado clue. Apparently, they lost a half an hour looking for the clue, because "the other teams are about to disembark." And yes, KarliKami said "disembark." And disembark they do, all five of the trailing teams, at just about 9:00.
Over in the world of meat-carrying, Alison is encouraging Donny, who has paused for a rest, with the news that it's only two more blocks to the butcher. "We're not stopping again," she authoritatively declares, at which point if I were Donny, I would have dropped the side of beef right at her feet and said, "Roger-dodger! Knock yourself out, there, Polly Pushypants." Bob and Joyce and Linda and Karen are also making their way down the street with the meat, being encouraged along by some locals who, among other things, appear to be offering coffee or something.