Episode Report Card Demian: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Prat House
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.12.2003
Phoebe briefly waxes nostalgic for those carefree days before she had Prue whacked. Her monologue grinds to a halt, however, when the shrill sounds of Piper's incessant bitching invade the room. "That is not what happened and you know it," Piper shrieks. "That's exactly what happened," the Dolt snaps back, "and it's happened before." The Doltine Cracker rolls his wee eyes and groans. Word, Cracker. Word. Phoebe and Raige hustle into the hallway to gawp as the bickering marrieds trade acrimonious accusations and insults. Seems Piper mocked the Dolt that evening at a dinner party held by one of Piper's seldom-seen "friends." Piper denies ever having mocked at the Dolt in front of anyone. The camera angle switches as the Dolt spins around for a rebuttal, so it seems like he's sneering directly at me. "You always mock me." Damn straight, you tool. "I get no respect!" You don't deserve any, pantywaist, so shut your cakehole. This is fun! "Don't you dare walk away from me again!" Piper growls as the worthless Dolt huffs off into the Bridal Boudoir, slamming the door behind him. "I mean it!" she howls, jabbing at the air with a peevish finger. The Bridal Boudoir's wall instantly erupts into a cloud of splinters and dust in an enormous explosion. Yes! Piper's jaw drops before she snatches the offending digit back against her chest. "Whoa," breathes the Feebs as Raige arches a stunned brow. Piper nervously glances around all, "Massive structural damage! What massive structural damage?" as we blow into the opening credits. Heh.
Manor, the following morning. Piper stands in her pyjamas in the upstairs hall, gazing ruefully at the wrecked Boudoir wall. Phoebe and Raige hustle her downstairs for a processing summit with the Dolt, who spent the evening on the parlor couch. I must say, Phoebe's looking lovely tonight. She's wearing a soft, sleeveless, cream-colored low-cut blouse over proper foundation garments, along with a fetching coral choker and lightly applied makeup, and she's pulled her hair back into a white snood. I'm digging the snoods, people. Something about the forties hairstyles really suits Alyssa Milano's face. In any event, the gist of the conversation is that Piper and the Dolt's marital problems have spilled over to affect Piper's powers, and thus are now negatively impacting the Power of Three. Phoebe's called in a favor from a marriage counselor she consults for her advice column, and Piper and the Dolt are to spend the afternoon in the shrink's care, hashing out whatever issues they currently have. The Dolt protests that he can't "spill his guts to a mortal," but Phoebe and Raige insist.