Episode Report Card Demian: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Prat House
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.12.2003
Whatever. Phoebe and Raige, misty-eyed from what they've just seen, emerge from their hiding place to stand in a lonely shaft of light adjacent to the Book. Damn. If the Dolt had problems with the in-laws constantly butting into his business before this episode, imagine what it's going to be like once he learns Phoebe and Raige are now privy to some of his most private memories. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost.
Doctor John's House Of Pain. Dr. Rubinstein tells the Dolt that he's codependent. The Dolt buhs and sputters as Piper discreetly averts her eyes. Heh.
Attic. The Transsexual Zombie prances in, followed presently by Zack. "Quick!" shouts the Feebs. "Throw the potion!" Raige fumbles for the vial as Zack just rolls his eyes and mutters, "Don't bother." With that, Zack blinks out. Phoebe and Raige finally realize that Zack's actually after the mildly irritated she-male on the floor. Phoebe races to the Book and flips open to the entry on Familiars, which the Book defines as "enchanted creatures who follow and guide new witches to protect them while they learn the Craft." "While [Familiars] are often cats," the entry continues, "other animals like dogs, rabbits, horses, and snakes can be Familiars as well. Familiars are naturally attuned to the seasons and phases of the moon, and can be helpful in teaching the young witch a heightened awareness of her environment." Horses? Bwa! Where's Catherine The Great when you really need her? Or should I say, "Catherine The So-So"? Also, Phoebe's just learning all of this NOW? Apparently so, for Raige asks her pretty much the same question, and receives the following response: "I just thought [The Transsexual Zombie] was this cat we found on the porch!" Dimwitted jackhole. Raige shrugs off her sister's stupidity to remind Phoebe that, should Zack manage to off The Transsexual Zombie before the gals meet up in the Season Four premiere, the Power of Three is "screwed."
Doctor John's House Of Pain. The Dolt bitches. Dr. Rubinstein tells him to cram it, and urges them to focus on their more positive memories. "Things you've overcome as a couple," he leads, instructing them to "free-associate." Strap yourselves in, gang, 'cause it's time for a fiscally responsible montage!
Yes, I meant "cheap." Like you had to ask.
On the sun porch, Piper futzes with the [72virg=ins] inventory for a bit before the Dolt wanders into the room with coffee staining his shirt. Bamp-chicka-bamp-ew.