Episode Report Card Demian: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Prat House
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.12.2003
Whatever! We head back to the attic for a quick scene between Phoebe and Raige that establishes the following: The gals believe Zack is bouncing them around the Glamorous Ladies' shared timeline to get at Nancy, Raige remembers the anti-blinking potion Piper once concocted but she can't orb out of the Manor, Nancy's name is actually "Katrina," my sister Katrina files a defamation-of-character suit against Spelling Productions, my brother the one-woman cat shelter scribbles a fervent note of thanks to the production staff, and perhaps most improbably of all, Phoebe still looks fabulous.
Doctor John's House Of Pain. Piper's pacing the floor, ranting. "It seems like our entire relationship's been one big fight," she blurts. "And honestly? Sometimes I've wondered if we were really meant to be together at all." "Even on our wedding day," the Dolt agrees.
Manor. Phoebe and Raige flare out of the midnight attic and into the midday parlor just as S3 Feebs bellows, "Prue! Get your astral ass back here!" Raige and Phoebe hide in the parlor to eavesdrop on the wedding-related goings-on. Of all the flashbacks, this one's been most altered from its original form, and Alyssa Milano would like you to blame Shannen Doherty for that. We see "A.P. Prue" only from the back, all references to The Late Lamented's episode-specific woes have been excised from the dialogue, and they've gouged out all reminders of Special Ed Prue's physical presence in the parlor. Also, they've dubbed in another actor for Bobby Briggs's lines, Grams and Cole remain silent throughout, and Darryl's entirely MIA, save for his disembodied voice delivering his "head off the posse" line at the tail end of the clip. Finally, they inserted a shot of the wedding-cake ornament skittering across the floorboards after the cake itself topples to the ground. So much for Piper and the Dolt making their memories real. Still, it's nice to see Teeth! again after all this time, and Cole's just as tasty as I remember him. Then again, he hasn't been gone for very long, has he?
Meanwhile, Phoebe and Raige have sidled into the dining room to avoid the bridal party. Kit The Eerily Undead Transgender Familiar appears to mewl and rub up against Phoebe's shins. Phoebe grins affectionately and hoists the animal into the air to show Raige the ambiguous genitalia. I mean, "the triquatra collar." Just then, Zack blinks in, starts when he spots his fellow time-travelers, and takes a step back in surprise. His right heel crunches down on the wedding-cake ornament, splintering the thing to bits on the floor. Zack makes a quick "D'oh!" face and then blinks on out of there. "Okay, that was weird," Phoebe opines, dropping The Transsexual Zombie to the floor. She grabs Raige's hand to drag her off to the kitchen to whip up some Blink-Away, but Raige stands her ground. "Didn't he just change history?" she asks, pointing to the floor.