Episode Report Card Demian: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Prat House
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.12.2003
Piper kneels in a pool of light outside of P3, gathering her scattered belongings as she flings a huffy yet heartfelt and well-acted monologue up at The Powers That Be. The heavens' response is, of course, silence. Phoebe and Raige enjoy rewatching this excellent scene nearly as much as I do.
Season Three versions of Piper, Phoebe, and the Dolt dash downstairs to find L.B. Prue gnawing on Kit's tail. The Dolt decides this is the perfect opportunity to get away from his bitch of a sister-in-law, and announces that he's leaving to consult TPTB on a banshee vanquish. "Don't tell me you're afraid of Prue," S3 Feebs snickers. "Yeah!" duhs the Dolt before orbing away. Piper clenches.
Not!tingham. The Dolt enters and moves to unshackle the Manor Ps. A knight in black armor attacks him from behind. They tussle. The Dolt finally head-butts the dark knight, which is enough to send the guy spinning across the room into unconsciousness. It should be, considering that the Dolt's head is a solid block of wood. He frees the Manor Ps as Piper waxes lustful over this heretofore-hidden manly side of her husband.
Manor. Okay, this one's actually kind of fun: Phoebe and Raige flare into the upstairs hall, and Phoebe heads into the nearby bathroom to retrieve Kit. Upon entering, she realizes to both her great horror and mine that she's actually stumbled into The Steamy Sauna Of Wretched And Ungodly Pre-Marital Fornication. Phoebe mumbles her excuses and covers her eyes and bounces the Fun Bags off the doorframe on her way out as naked Piper shrieks, "Hey! Did you change your hair?" Heh.
Phoebe rejoins Raige in the hallway, looking plenty skeeved. They flare out and reappear on the staircase at Piper's club. The music's different, Prue's nowhere to be found, and The Tasteful Bitches Of The Class Of 1990 have prematurely taken their leave, but the "choreography" remains the same. Heh. God, that episode sucked.
House Of Pain. Dr. Rubinstein goggles in disbelief. "Don't ask!" Piper snaps. Hee! Even she hated that one.
Phoebe and Raige flare into a small water closet adjacent to the main upstairs bathroom and listen to the Dolt's proposal of marriage through the door. Raige squeals like a little girl. I note the absence of all references to The Guardians, and move on.