Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A World Of Hurt
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 07.13.1997
Hill talks about prags, and that when you make someone your prag, it holds for life, which is complete bullshit, both in real life and on this show. Whatever, Hill.
Back to Burruano's office. He's got Groves in front of the flag now. It would be cool if Groves made an overblown speech about how he only kills people who taste good with butter and thyme. He can have principles too, can't he? Burruano muses that Groves ate his parents, but Groves corrects him that he only ate his mother. "I was saving my dad for Thanksgiving." I can just picture him lifting the cover off a platter and asking the head, "Dad, would you like to say grace?" Burruano's reply: "That's festive." Hee. He asks Groves about Ortolani's murder, as apparently Groves was in the hole for sneaking into the morgue. I hope he wasn't looking for dessert. Eating long-dead people is probably taboo even among cannibals. They'll look at you like normal people would look at a necrophiliac. Anyway, Groves was in the cell next to Ortolani's, but he says that Ortolani didn't scream, which he calls "balls." Aw, is someone hungry? He goes on that he saw Ortolani's corpse carried out, and that he looked like a roasted, broiled chicken. "His flesh was all brown and crispy. He looked good enough to eat." Yeah, I think I've used up all my cannibalism jokes for one recap, thanks.
We get our first shot of the Pernicious Peewee, Governor Devlin. Thankfully, he's on the Oz television, which means we, the audience, can't hear him. A lot of people are taking an interest, and since there are no breasts involved, you can infer that Devlin's got something prison-related to announce. Adebisi asks what he's saying, and Markstram informs him of Devlin's opinion that taxpayers shouldn't have to pay for prisoner perks. Adebisi puts some headphones on, and we suddenly can hear Devlin. I hope we're not going to see everything on the show from Adebisi's viewpoint. The sight of Peter Schibetta's prone ass sliding back and forth in front of me might be a little tough to take. Anyway, Devlin, in a shocking move given the episode title, announces that he's proposing the elimination of conjugal visits for prisoners and their wives. Everyone's outraged, no one more so than Adebisi. Dude, is Adebisi married? That's a prospect that's too scary to contemplate. Any woman who could keep him in line is not someone I'd want to meet even in the most brightly lit alley. Although a henpecked Adebisi has unlimited comic potential.