Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A World Of Hurt
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 07.13.1997
Narrator Hill tells us that you can't take a man's feelings away. I suppose that's one of the points of the whole series, but still, shut up, Narrator Hill.
Cut to Hill's conjugal visit. His wife helps him out of his clothes, and then removes her bra, revealing ample, if somewhat artificial, boobs. (I'm not averse to using the word "tits," but I don't want to mislead you, given their other meaning in Oz.) Hill VOs about how cruel it is to know that this will be the last time he'll be with his wife, and considering how he's already had to go through a similar thought process with respect to his paraplegia, that really, really sucks.
Burruano's office. His next victim is Keane. Burruano exposits that Ortolani used to supervise Keane in the kitchen. Keane says they never had any run-ins, but Burruano brings up Ortolani's battery of Keane Light, and tries to build a rapport by saying that Ortolani was a scumbag. Keane sits silently. Burruano changes tacks, asking if Keane is married, to which the answer is no, but he does have a girlfriend. Burruano: "Does she know you're a lying sack of shit? If I find out you had anything to do with this, I'm gonna bury you so deep in Gen Pop she'll never see your black ass again." Dude, just give the Pernicious Peewee a little time -- he'll do you one better.
Kitchen. Post asks what he should say to Burruano, to which the answer is, predictably, nothing. D'Angelo enters and tells them that he's running the kitchen now, and until they discover Ortolani's killer, they're not moving any more contraband. After D'Angelo leaves, Post mouths off that he'll kill him next, but Keane tells him to shut up, and walks off. I need Keane to come with me to the airport the next time someone tries to get me to sign up for a credit card.
Cut to a closeup of Said, leading the Muslims in prayer. Keane sits on the stairs and looks out the (heavily barred) window. Adebisi appears and says the cops want to see him about Ortolani, but Keane, never taking his eyes from the window, hushes him, as he's getting a visit from his girlfriend, Mavis. We see the credits shot of the girl holding open a white jacket to reveal that she's wearing nothing else. I can just hear the discussion in the writing room: "What name would be most ironic for a girl who parades naked in front of a prison? Ethel? Frieda? I've got it! Mavis!" Adebisi is impressed, and Mavis walks away waving, but not before flashing her ass. Luckily there are bars between her and Adebisi. We focus on Keane, and we go to our next prisoner history flashback. A young black couple emerges from a church, having just gotten married. The receiving guests part to reveal Keane and two cronies. Keane, in half-speed, raises a gun and shoots the groom dead, then does the same to the bride. As the screams fade, he walks off and drops the gun, looking back with no particular remorse. Back to the stairs. "Prisoner Number 97K186. Jefferson Keane." Murder one, life with no parole.