Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A World Of Hurt
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 07.13.1997
Anyway, cut to a big line in front of Sister Pete's office. She hands out forms to everyone, and tells them that she wants all the pencils back. Good luck with that, Sister. You can't even get all the pencils back from second graders. We focus on Hill, which means it's his turn in the spotlight flashback. And the spotlight is apparently very blue, in more than one way, as Hill, bathed in blue light from outside, is thrusting and moaning away in some apartment at night. We don't get much of a look at the girl, but I assume it's his wife, so that will be attended to later in the episode. Hill holds the headboard, and rhythmically bangs it into the wall. In time with that rhythm, we see someone using a nightstick to bang on what I assume is the door to the apartment.
Eventually the door breaks down, which makes me wonder if "the door breaking down" is a euphemism somewhere for having an orgasm. It wouldn't surprise me on this show. Anyway, in slo-mo, Hill tosses his wife aside (so that's how it is), grabs a gun, fires a shot at the approaching cops, and hops out the window. He's wearing socks and nothing else, which inappropriately cracks me up. He climbs a ladder from one plateau of the roof to another, then climbs back down the other side. We get our second dick shot of the series, and apparently there's nothing like a bust to get the blood rushing back to your brain. It's worse than hearing, "Is it in?" A cop appears at the top of the ladder and tells Hill to freeze. Hill shoots him. I have to believe Hill was on something here. In a nice touch, the cop's Mag-Lite falls to the ground next to Hill. However, another cop quickly apprehends him and cuffs his hands behind his back. Upon hearing that the cop that Hill shot is dead, the arresting officer loses it and, in a shot far more disturbing than I can describe, tosses Hill off the roof. As we see a shot of Hill twitching (only from the waist up; thank you for the attention to detail), narrator Hill intones, "Prisoner Number 95H522. Augustus Hill." Murder two, life, parole in twenty years.
Cut to Hill and Adebisi filling out the conjugal forms. They have a winning, though not the easiest to recap, exchange about what Hill can and can't do in the bedroom. He can get hard and reach orgasm, but he doesn't feel sensation from those occurrences, and needs his wife to tell him when they happen. A number of jokes spring to mind, but given what we just witnessed the character go through, I'm going to take a pass. Adebisi is impressed, and Hill explains that some people in wheelchairs aren't as, er, proficient, needing pumps, drugs, or implants to get it up. Yes, I just crossed my legs uncomfortably. When Adebisi learns that Hill doesn't know when he's hard, he's stunned, perhaps because he's contemplating certain naughty possibilities. He wonders, if Hill isn't getting any pleasure, "What the fuck are you doing it for?" Hill provides the simple answer: "For her."