Episode Report Card Demian: F | 218 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Enter The Stench
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 2001.10.18
Manor basement. Alyssa and Rose struggle to shut the rusted water valve. Accomplishing this, they natter about whether Alyssa can levitate in her current state. Alyssa is also revealed to be holding a Conspicuous Lollipop Of Contrivance. Rose orders Alyssa to lose the sucker and try levitating across the room. Alyssa leaps towards the punching bag and splatters to the cement flat on her ass. Comedy gold, people. Not. More blather about ensuring that Piper knows nothing of the switch, and then Rose announces she'll head to Master Kwan's den of herbs to pick up some more "powdered toadstool" so they can reverse the spell. She instructs Alyssa to remain in the basement to practice levitation until she returns.
Upstairs, the doorbell chimes. Rose answers to find a strapping young lad by the name of Mason standing on the porch. This would be the boss's son. More of the altered-identity confusion that is not amusing in the least. Alyssa appears behind Rose to make unsubtle, non-covert introductions. Mason asks Rose if she'd like to try an Italian restaurant for dinner that evening. Alyssa insists that Chinese food is in order. "Chinatown Chinese." Shut up, Alyssa. She pushes a plaid jacket and umbrella into Rose's hands and moves to shove her out the door. Rose looks distraught, for she adores being dressed in something frilly when her date comes to get her at her place. Out she goes with her Joe or Shane or Billy like a filly who is ready for the race! For when she has a brand-new hair-do with her eyelashes all in curl, she floats as the clouds on air do. She enjoys being a girl! So, Alyssa motors Rose out of the manor and slams the door shut behind her. Piper enters the hallway from upstairs to bitch about Rose bailing on them in their hour of need. Alyssa, with the CLOC improbably in hand, tries to defend Rose, and ends up getting an earful of what Piper really thinks about the new P. It's not all bad. Piper recognizes Rose's potential, but curses her refusal to learn her "craft." Alyssa insists that Rose "learns from her mistakes," and assures Piper that "she's learning fast." Piper gives her the stink-eye, clenches her teeth, rolls her eyes, and heads back up to the attic. Alyssa goggles and sighs and sucks on the CLOC. I am going to die.