Episode Report Card Demian: F | 218 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Enter The Stench
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 2001.10.18
...we cut to some white-clad ninja freak doing the same amid faux bamboo shoots. I know the left coast is home to many boneheaded ideas, and I'm hoping this is either a new California-style corporate management training program or some bleeding-edge way for the jaded gay folk in the Bay Area to meet and greet. Because if this Crouching Loser, Visible Stupidity subplot is for real, I'm going to have to impale my head on a spike. Through the faux bamboo, we spy an elderly gentleman kneeling before a statue of Buddha. The white-clad ninja freak darts over some rocks to, yes, crouch behind the elderly gent, who snaps to attention when his Spidey sense starts tingling. You all keep watching as I spread out some newspapers to blot the gouts of blood that will spray from my head when that spike I mentioned pierces my skull. The elderly gentleman is a total Hey! It's That Guy by the name of James Hong, in case you were interested. A quick glance at his filmography in the Internet Movie Database reveals the expected array of characters named "Chang," "Ho," "Wang," and "Waiter," but my favorite name is either "Phags-Pa" from the 1982 Marco Polo mini-series he did or the egregious "Gold-Tooth Charlie" from an episode of the 1950s show The Californians. So, Gold-Tooth Charlie remains where he is as a black-clad ninja freak descends from somewhere overhead to confront her white-clad antagonist. You can tell she's a woman by her hair. Not Michelle Yeoh and Not Chow Yun-Fat make with the not-skilled, not-graceful, not-well-choreographed swordplay. This goes on for quite some time. At one point, Not Michelle leaps into a tree. They smash some decorative pottery, too. Not Michelle finally corners Not Chow and flicks the ninja mask from his face with the point of her sword. "Yen Lo!" she shouts. Or something supposedly Chinese. The actor's Korean (Daniel Dae Kim, and you can make your own Unbearable Lightness of Pyongyang joke), so I think I'll call him Not Cho. As in Margaret. Sorry if I'm rambling. It's a bit difficult to think concisely when a railroad spike's been rammed through your forehead.