Episode Report Card Demian: F | 218 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Enter The Stench
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 2001.10.18
Phoebe darts to her feet to chide Rose for slacking off. Seems Rose should be "studying for Piper's quiz" on "potion basics," but Rose has bailed in hopes of "go[ing] a couple of rounds with a demon first." Get in line, sister. The demon in question meanwhile has risen to his feet to display his sleek, slick build to the viewing audience, and the viewing audience finds itself overwhelmed with gratitude for this selfless gesture on his part. Over at the stairs, Phoebe's babbling something about Piper taking her "witchcraft quizzes very seriously," and yes, one may easily argue that this point of Piper's characterization has no canonical precedent in the text of the series to date, but good goddamn -- did you get a look at Cole? Phoebe attempts to impress upon Rose the immediacy of the need to get her up to speed as quickly as possible, as their "lives may depend on it." Rose snipes about this "appeal" to her "conscience" being "a low blow" (snort), but rises to comply with Phoebe's request. She sighs, "I just want to know when the fun starts," then eye-rolls her way up to the kitchen.
Phoebe turns back to Cole with "Where were we?" "Training," he intones before sticking his tongue in the exposition's ear. Blah he was away for seven days on a fact-finding mission blee factions are aligning against The Source bling yeah he's The Source of All Evil so what's with this "factions against him" crap blang whatever just go with it bleaugh The Source intends to finish what he started and this time it's personal blag terror-cakes. Cole hoists two scabbards from their place on the basement wall and hurls one at Feebs. "You think The Source is going to challenge me to a swordfight?" Phoebe snorts derisively. "Hand-to-hand combat is too safe," Cole preaches. "Swordfighting teaches confidence. Intensity." Oh, please. Knock it off with this Mr. Miyagi shit and just stand there and look pretty, okay, hon? Phoebe makes it clear that, after his seven-day absence, she wants to focus on a different kind of sword, if you know what I mean, and who can blame her? Look at him. Samurai Cole tells her she needs "to learn to fight like a demon. Training must come before everything," he adds, continuing to annoy me. "Including us. Are you ready?" he asks, waving his sword around, and boy is that going to sound filthy for the rest of the evening. "Do I have a choice?" she responds. Her answer is Cole taking a swipe at her with the blade. She dodges by snipering to the floor with a gasp. She sets a look of determination in her eyes, slides her own sword from its scabbard, and...