Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 168 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Variations on Solitaire
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 2012.06.19
Ezra: "I took the liberty of making up a new test that you can take right now to prove this to yourself, and then you won't have anything to complain about."
Emily: "...Damn. I wish I could hug you. I wish that wouldn't be weird for 100 reasons. That is very kick ass."
True. Ezra, you done good today.
A-TAGS
1) Mona sings a song to herself in her bunk about "In the eye abides the heart/ And tender feeling/ All emotions worth revealing/ Through the eyes their charm impart..." (This being an unrecorded Stephen Foster song from the mid-1800s, of course, like who doesn't know that. Am I right?) She's holding the Queen of Hearts from her solitaire deck, so I guess that's what we're calling the Red Queen/Little Red Riding Hood from now on? I'm cool with whatever. Drink every time somebody in this show says the word "eye," but then also there's the "heart" thing, so who knows. It's thrilling, but not informative.
2) A+ pours him- or herself a nice tall vodka, does some sketchy shit, and then puts the vodka back in the freezer... Which in this case is a deep freeze, which also contains a bodybag, which A+ slowly unzips before we cut to black. AAAHH!
NEXT WEEK
Caleb hopefully dumps Hanna's ass for a minute so she can get it together; Mona does amazing things some more; Lucas's meltdown either continues or is ignored entirely; Melissa's womb continues to confound; and for the first time in her life, Emily must take a firm stand on the subject of pity.
JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps Bunheads, Pretty Little Liars and True Blood for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, on Twitter, and on Facebook. IRL work appears in BenBella's SmartPop series of anthologies, and novelette "The Commonplace Book" will appear on Tor.com in October 2012.