Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 168 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Variations on Solitaire
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 2012.06.19
PREVIOUSLY
Garrett was playing Spencer from inside, for reasons that must remain elliptical forever I guess, but eventually got her mom Veronica to be his lawyer. Emily got a necklace of human teeth, and also kidnapped by Jenna at some point. Aria was approached by Jenna to play piano for her, and was led by mysterious earrings and not-so-mysterious daddy issues to reveal the fact that she was once a Teen Vandal. Meanwhile, Hanna's visits to her once-obsessed, now nonresponsive ex-bestie resulted in chairs thrown and lies lied to her longsuffering werebeau.
QUAD
Jenna: Acting all blind, presumably just to piss off everybody.
Liars: "God, what a performance. And what is her aim? To what end, this blindness?"
Aria: "Speaking of crazy bitches we all hate, I wish Mona would go back to catatonia."
Spencer: "Along those lines, Melissa is coming home so I guess the three Hastings women will have a quorum about Garrett Reynolds and whatever else. In some ways I hate that we can't have one-on-one conversations, but on the other hand I don't really like any of my family members except my bastard brother anyway."
Hanna: "We should push a table in front of stupid Jenna and see if she'll fake a fall."
Liars: "Hanna Marin, you have the subtlety of a hand grenade."
Hanna: "That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."
Lucas: Flips the vice-principal the bird on his way to setting fire to his latest demerit, and it is awesome.
Hanna: "Lucas, why are you acting all crazy these days?"
Lucas: "My 'positive attitude' and 'social interactions' are not on my list of priorities. I am punk rock now. Every day is Guy Fawkes Day now."
Lucas lights this piece of paper on fire in a completely safe way, even snagging a metal trash can so it won't be a danger to anyone, but the music shits itself and Caleb runs in to save Hanna from her horrible fate of seeing a nerd light a piece of paper on fire. It is epic and pathetic all at once.
Hanna: "Lucas used to be so sweet."
Caleb: "First of all, that is not true. He was Nice Guy Aggressive at best. Also, don't call boys 'sweet,' especially if they like you."
Hanna: "He's becoming a real Sour Patch Kid!"
Caleb: "He's making up for lost time. Everybody goes a little crazy, he's just doing it in the most socially sanctioned possible way. Mostly I just miss him."
Hanna: "Talk him down, please. He loves you almost as much as he does me."
Caleb: "Speaking of our same-sex romances, I need you to stop visiting Mona."
Hanna: "That's so cute that you even said that."
Caleb: "That was not an answer."
Hanna: "Well, I have the subtlety of a hand grenade, so..."