Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 168 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Variations on Solitaire
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 2012.06.19
HASTINGS
Melissa: "Yeah bitch, I drink constantly now. Deal with it."
Spencer: "Um, I was just saying hi. Listen, what do you really think about this Garrett thing?"
Melissa: "I don't even care about most of this shit. I could barely be interested in my molester husband's murder and faked suicide, and that took place at the same time we were having a car accident. I mean, I just don't care."
Spencer: "Well, you guys seemed tight before his arrest."
Melissa: "You have a lurid imagination."
Truer fucking words, lady.
Spencer: "My imagination is nothing compared to the facts. And the facts are nothing compared to the variations on solitaire that my fevered, lurid brain can't help but play. Fact, you were on that video in Ali's bedroom. Supposition, when he walked out of that bedroom, he killed someone..."
Melissa, laying down yet more truth: "Will you just stop? For once in your life stop trying to be the smartest person in the room. Climb out of Spencerworld long enough to see that some people have lost everything. Everything."
Spencer: "Look, I'm sorry about your molester husband being murdered -- in the middle of trying to kill me -- and I'm sorry about your demon baby, and all, but..."
Melissa: "Don't even bother trying to apologize for not visiting me during my hospital stay. The only person I wanted to see was Mom. And the reason for that -- I want to be perfectly clear -- is that we are teamed up against you."
This line -- delivered as Melissa heads out the back door, presumably to go do unspeakable rites in the shack out back -- is pretty interesting.
"You know, I hope she does get him off. Guilty or not. Because of all the men I've had to deal with, he is the only one who's always told me the truth. I figured it out too late, but I figured it out."