Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT If These Walls Could Talk 2
By Owen | Season 3 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.27.2000
Then Elizabeth ruins this moment by walking into the room carrying a lamp she's stealing! Witch! Vanessa and the nephew get up from their chairs. They're going to go, but he'll call in a few weeks. Elizabeth says that she was "so glad to meet" Vanessa, and gets the cold shoulder of a lifetime. Vanessa gives the nephew and wife the stink-eye as they leave, but she shakes the little girl's hand goodbye. Aw. Cut to the backyard. Just when you thought the anvil storm had let up -- Vanessa drags the ladder to the birdhouse. Using the Symbolic Handkerchief, she picks the Symbolic Birdling up off the ground and places it in the Symbolic Birdhouse. "Bye, Bye Blackbird" plays, Vanessa fades from the scene, and WE GET IT. End. Which brings us to the next segment: “Come Back to the Five-And-Dime, Chloe Sevigny, Chloe Sevigny.” Clips of hippies protesting. Bell-bottom rock. Title reading, "1972." Kitchen of the House of Talking Walls. Processing session of three hippie lesbian girls: Nia Long (sporting an Afro), Natasha Lyonne, and Michelle Williams. Michelle is a brunette here, because if she remained blonde while sporting the seventies duds her resemblance to Sally Struthers circa All in the Family would have been just too disconcerting. Nia is jabbering about a girl she slept with the night before who freaked out on her the next morning. ["Hands up, girls, for whoever's been here -- so far it seems the same stuff goes in the seventies as today." -- Jitterbug] Michelle changes into a loose-weave peasant blouse in front of everyone, and if we needed proof that she's going "free bird," here it is. Natasha bitches about "gay 'til graduation" chicks that treat the out lesbians like "a science experiment." Michelle wants "a real relationship." Natasha thought that Michelle wanted her freedom. Michelle wants both. Nia assures them that all will have love "after the revolution." Yeah! Kill the pigs! Acid's groovy! She kisses Michelle on the lips. The girls go out to the driveway. They make fun of their "uptight" neighbor, who's such a square because he shrinks from their loud exhortations of "Peace, man!" and blaring car stereo. Um, who can blame him? The actresses are walking together on a university campus. They're joined by a fourth, some blonde nobody who I'll call Jennifer Keaton. The girls open the door to a meeting room full of women. The lesbians get the stink-eye. The lead girl explains that the high muck-a-mucks won't let the feminist group meet on campus anymore if it's perceived as being a lesbian organization. I guess this isn't worthy of a sit-in. Michelle is nonplused. The lesbians leave. Bummer.