Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT If These Walls Could Talk 2
By Owen | Season 3 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.27.2000
Later. Outside the bar, Chloe offers Michelle a ride back to town on her motorcycle. She gives Michelle her shirt so she won't get cold. Aw. Chloe looks very James Dean-ish in her undershirt. ["Again, purrrrrrr. So cute she is." -- Jitterbug] They pull up in front of the house and banter about Chloe being "tough" and Michelle being a "tough feminist." Chloe kisses Michelle goodnight, and is invited back the next day to retrieve her shirt. Campus. The girls interrogate Michelle about the night before. Michelle says she "had fun" with Chloe. Nia wails that this event "is worse than imagining you with a man." Hey! Shut up, Nia. In the car, Michelle proposes that her friends faction off from the feminist collective to form their own lesbian group. Jennifer Keaton says, "Yeah." They're all in. They pull up in front of the house. The lead feminist girl is there, and she tries to explain her position to the girls again. "Maybe next year" the lesbians can be back in the organization. Just as Michelle gets her bitch on, Chloe rides up on her motorcycle. She walks up to the girls in her leather jacket, pegged blue jeans, and pompadour. Feminist leader girl gapes at her. Chloe asks for her shirt. The girls all stand there, catching flies. Natasha steps in front of Michelle protectively. Chloe reads the situation and bolts, adding, "Nice meeting you, ladies." Feminist leader girl leaves, too. Nia whines to Michelle, "How do you expect us to be accepted as feminists with your little boyfriend around?" Accept this: your coronation as Queen Asshole, Nia. ["Wouldn't be that surprising if Nia herself ended up with a man? Kind of like homophobes. Be weary of those who doth protest too much." -- Jitterbug] Cut to Michelle in her scarf-strewn, patchouli-scented (I'm guessing) room, crying on her bed because she treated Chloe so bad. Boo hoo. She's the big victim here. Not! Natasha lies next to her and tries to comfort her. She asks Michelle how she can "like someone who dresses like a man? We fought so hard to break free of those roles." Michelle explains that Chloe "doesn't need other people to define who she is. She knows." Word. Michelle drives to Chloe's house. Chloe lets her in. She gets her shirt back. Awkward chatter. They fall into bed. Instead of a blow-by-blow of the sex scene, I offer these thoughts: Chloe could have equaled or surpassed Hilary Swank's performance as Brandon Teena in their film Boys Don't Cry, in my humble opinion. And Michelle is so getting wiped off the screen here. The only thing she's bringing to the set is that last refuge of bad actresses, the biting of the lower lip. I'm guessing in this context it's supposed to signal sexual ecstasy.