Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT If These Walls Could Talk 2
By Owen | Season 3 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.27.2000
The next morning. Michelle brushes her teeth in Chloe's bathroom. She snoops in the medicine cabinet and finds a photo of a little Chloe forced to wear a dress. This causes Michelle to bite her lip again. Um, empathy? Let's believe she's expressing that. She walks into the bedroom. Chloe praises Michelle for looking sexy. Michelle becomes uncomfortable at the prospect of joining Chloe, who's donned her male garb, in public for breakfast. Hey, you know what a good friend advised me once and I now firmly believe? If they're good enough for the bed, they're good enough for the brunch table. Or was it "good enough for the bushes, good enough for the bed"? Either way, you get my point. Grow up, Michelle. She asks Chloe if she's supposed to be the man in their relationship. Chloe explains that she dresses the way she does because she feels comfortable. She adds, "Don't you think I know what people think of me? This is me, it can't be any other way." Michelle: Ineffectual blah blah. Chloe basically tells her to pack up her hang-ups and hit the road. Breakfast is cancelled. House. Michelle is cleaning the communal living room. Natasha quips that it's like her "parents are going to visit." Nia harshes, "More like her husband!" SHUT UP, NIA. Michelle makes her friends promise to give Chloe a chance. I guess Michelle and Chloe made up off-screen. There's a knock at the door. It's Chloe, wearing a suit and carrying a bouquet for Michelle. Introductions. Michelle leads Chloe to the kitchen. Nia loudly ridicules, "Flowers for my woman!" SHUT UP, NIA. Kitchen. Chloe says she can leave early. Michelle wants her to stay. They kiss. Aw. Back to the den of vipers. Everyone eats sprouts on the floor and listens to sitar music. Natasha asks Chloe about her job. Chloe says she works in a mail room. Natasha sniffs disapprovingly. Then she makes a crack about how nice it is "to have a man around the house." SHUT UP, NATASHA. Then she criticizes Chloe for not drinking. Chloe explains that she likes to stay sober in case people try to "mess with" her. Natasha tells her that she could "dress normally" and make it easier for herself. Nia chimes in, "That tie's been hurting my eyes all night long." SHUT UP, NIA. I'll show you hurting. Nia throws a peasant blouse at Chloe. Chloe doesn't want to put it on. Michelle is doing a piss-poor job of defending her girlfriend throughout this scene. Chloe finally gives in and puts on the blouse; she looks about as comfortable as a cat in a bubble bath. The girls cluck approvingly. Michelle wants her to take it off. Natasha starts to "unstyle" Chloe's hair, because she's been "dying to." SHUT UP, NATASHA. I'll show you dying. Chloe, to her credit, pushes Natasha out of the way. She wails that Michelle must be "ashamed of her" if she let her friends treat her that way. Chloe books out of there, slamming the door. Michelle finally gets her bitch on and lets her "friends" have it: "Do you have any idea what you just did? Do you know why you don't like [Chloe]? Because you're scared of anyone who's not just like you." Word. It's a good speech; with a tad less eye-popping and jaw-thrusting ["and a real lesbian would've been cursing like a sailor here" -- Jitterbug], Michelle might have put it over. She storms out of the house, leaving Nia, Natasha, and Jennifer Keaton gaping.