Episode Report Card 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT The Painted World
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.13.1999
PBN Castle. Piper appears in the front room, fleeing from a fireball. Prue whisks it away from her. Prue calls her sis over toward the bookcase. Another fireball heads towards them, but Piper freezes it. They run into the hidden chamber. Piper whines about breaking the heel on her shoe. Malcolm: "Don't tell me she's the sister witch who's going to save us?" The Ps: Arms folded, bitches on.
So there's this ad for this really funny new comedy that's coming out in which people think Matthew Perry's character is gay, so he runs shrieking in terror down the street, but when Neve Campbell's character admits she had lesbian experience, Matthew is all, "Cool!" I think it's called Double Standard to Tango, and it should be a big hit with the bigoted and self-loathing!
PBN Castle. Piper bitching about being "trapped in a painting hanging on a wall wearing a broken shoe." Before I can ponder how a wall can wear shoes, Prue announces a plan: they'll put a message on the window in the front room to signal Phoebe. Prue, in a possible shout-out to my first recap: "Well, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out this situation's pretty bad." Piper gets all excited. She fills Prue in on Phoebe becoming "a genius, a super-witch." Prue, in disbelief: "You're not helping the situation." Piper continues to describe Pheebs as "a walking brain trust, an Einstein with cleavage." She explains the smart spell. Prue: "What!?" Piper adds that they need to get the new message on that window soon, before the spell ends that night. They get into gear.
Halliwell Manor. The clock shows six-fifteen. Phoebe comes downstairs with the BoS. She places it on a table and starts to fan through it. The doorbell rings. "Who is it?" Ugh. It's Jenny. Phoebe: "Unless it's a huge 911, sweetie, you're going to have to come back later." Word, Pheebs. Unless the brat came over to borrow a heaping cup of shut-up, don't let her in. Of course, Jenny rings the doorbell again. Phoebe goes to answer it. I think Jenny is the worst new cast member of any TV show ever, and I'm old enough to remember the anguish caused when Quinn Cummings joined the regulars on Family.
PBN Castle. Piper heads toward the front window while freezing fireballs and telling Prue that if they get out of there alive, Prue owes her a new pair of shoes. Prue says if they get out, she'll buy Piper the purse to match. Heh. More bickering. Malcolm warns Piper not to get too close to the window. Huge swords come out of the wall and trap Piper in place. For the radio listeners, Prue wails, "Hah! Hah! Blades!" Prue asks if she's okay. Piper can't reach the window, and if she moves, she's "sliced and diced." Prue mind-moves the swords out of the way. Piper writes "NELL" backwards on the window and the sisters bolt back towards the bookcase. Piper thinks "it's a good thing [Nell] had a short name."