Episode Report Card 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT The Painted World
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.13.1999
Halliwell Manor. Malcolm appears in front of Phoebe. He thanks her for freeing him. She figures out he's a warlock. He praises her for being a smart witch wah wah TC is his lover and a warlock too wah wah been trying to get him out for seventy years wah wah waiting for the Charmed Ones wah wah, wah wah wah wah. Suddenly, Phoebe kickboxes him in the chest and backflips away. Now I enjoy some Buffy-esque ass-kicking as much as the next guy, but Pheebs' explanation for her new skill is incredibly lame: She read a "jay kwan doh" manual earlier. So now she's a black belt. Actually a "seventh degree" black belt. A master. Sure, because reading a book = mastering a physical skill. What. E. Ver. Malcolm blinks out of the house after warning Phoebe that he'll be back to see "how smart and powerful [she] is when [her] spell ends at seven." Malcolm meets up with TC in a major PDA on the sidewalk. TC wants to "get out of here." Malcolm wants to stick around, because he has a gift for her -- Phoebe's power. And he's going to get "revenge, and two more powers." They make out some more.
Psst ... this is just a guess, but I predict that the winners of the Warner Brother Radio Music Awards will all be from the same record company, or from radio stations with play lists stocked with songs from recording artists for that very same record company.
PBN Castle. Kit meows. The hard Ps are slumped on the floor. Some very sick-making blather about how both of them have all of the confidence in the world in Phoebe's intelligence. They agree that if they make it out of there, they'll buy Phoebe new shoes and a purse. I hope they get rescued soon, because there's obviously serious oxygen deprivation in that chamber.
Halliwell Manor. Phoebe tries frantically to find the "freeing" spell in the BoS again. The clock strikes seven. She locates the right pages but can't translate Latin anymore. Malcolm blinks into the foyer and lets TC in the front door. She greets Phoebe, makes a finger flame and lights the painting on fire. Phoebe wails and Malcolm holds her back. Phoebe spots the X-ray and recites the "sucking" spell while grabbing TC. All three are sent into the burning painting.
PBN Castle. The hard Ps smell fire and figure out that Malcolm had something to do with it. Phoebe appears, followed by Malcolm and TC. Piper's glad to see Phoebe alive. Phoebe: "Let's keep it that way." Prue gives TC the stink-eye. Malcolm calls them "stupid witches" while looking for the "freeing" spell in his pockets. Phoebe holds up the cat collar and asks, "Looking for this?" She tells Piper to freeze the Warlocks. They remember to grab Kit, recite the escape spell, and book out of there, leaving Malcolm and TC to burn to death.