Episode Report Card Erin: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Doctor, Doctor, Gimme The News!
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 11.09.2002
Blah blah blah, there's a hamburger behind you. Bling blam blooey, restaurant reviewer guy's coming. Flim fling flotsam, I gotta go back to cleaning. Crick crack cupola, I gotta catch a plane. God, was this whole scene even necessary? Viggo! Viggo! Stop playing with that new light saber I bought you and go get me a drink! I thought I could actually make it through this recap without alcohol but I was wrong, wrong, WRONG. Do we have any lighter fluid in the house? Mommy's thirsty.
Back at Ops Center, Vaughn's traipsing along with Devlin, blithering on about Project Christmas and how the KGB developed their own version of the kiddie spy program. Apparently, one of the CIA's Russian contacts sent over a sample of a list of questions that were posed to a bunch of first graders in Russia years ago in order to determine what kids would make good agents in the Soviet Secret Service. Why does this matter? Because the questions are remarkably similar to the questions that appear on a standardized IQ test that's given to first graders in the U.S.
See, Vaughn's thinking about the rumor that went around during the Cold War about the Soviets raising sleeper agents as Americans. Know what that means? Well, to Vaughn, it means that, even though it sounds terribly paranoid, the Soviets very well may have been carrying out this sleeper agent plan. By testing American kids with that list of questions, they could amass a potential talent pool of ready-and-willing baby spies. Devlin's all, here's fifty cents. Go down to the local drugstore, find a phone, plug in the coins, dial 411, and request the phone number for someone who really gives a shit.
Vaughn's not giving up that easily, however. "I just think it would be interesting to analyze tests from --" he tries to spit out. Devlin cuts him off, saying that not a single agent can be spared at the moment, especially not for some stupid delusional interest of Vaughn's that's really nothing but a history lesson. Devlin walks away as Vaughn looks down at the Russian transmittal and wonders just who he could get to look into this information for him. Who? Who has lots of time on their hands but not lots of money? Who can't get a job in the real world because his reputation's been ruined, making it impossible to make ends meet? Hmmm...I wonder...
Private Plane Of Fatherly Fuckups. Syd's sitting off by herself, making notes about the upcoming mission. Spy Daddy's busy playing a quick game of Tetris on his handy pocket PC. He's having trouble concentrating, however, because he seems far more intent on sneaking glances at his daughter, who's doing a stellar job of ignoring the hell out of him. Finally, Spy Daddy can't stand it anymore and gets up, making his way over to the seat opposite Sydney. And, might I say for the record, Victor Garber is wearing all black and looks remarkably dashing? He is and he does. Without a doubt.