Episode Report Card Erin: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Doctor, Doctor, Gimme The News!
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 11.09.2002
Back in Hell-Lay, Captain Crinoline is telling Jack Be Nimble about the wine with the counteractive agent in it. Jacky's all, okay, I got two ways to explain this. One, Auntie Em predicted your heinous plot to "end her suffering" as you so eloquently put it, took the proper countermeasures to prevent her own death, and is now stalking your sorry ass; or two, someone out there wants you to believe that Auntie Em's still alive -- or worse, they'll try to make the Alliance believe it too. Detective Hold Me Closer Tiny Dancer's all, okay, well, if the Alliance thinks that I failed to carry out the only condition of my admittance, that I've been betraying them the whole time, then, like, they're gonna think that my whole division is rogue. Well, um, I don't quite get how Sloane fucking up his entry into the Alliance has anything to do with the rest of the division, but, like, whatever. Brigadier Ballyhoo is basically just threatening Jack by implying that if he's fucked, they're ALL fucked. Jacky gets the point. And then some.
Subbasement Of Dreams And Desires. Syd's overanalyzing her whole father/daughter/mother situation, blathering on and on about how, even though she'll never be able to forgive her father for what he's done, maybe he's been right about her mother all along. Oh, whatever. Just show Lena Olin again, okay? Then you can talk about her all you want. You can discuss the permanent scars on your psyche caused by her abandonment and eventual return from the dead. You can wax pathetic about how you're practically an orphan. What-EVER. Just bring Lena back! Is that TOO MUCH TO ASK?
Vaughn's all, your father's asking you to let your mom die for something she MIGHT do. I don't think you can live with that, dude. There's an uncomfortable pause, and then they move away from the sad subject of absentee parents and onto the Geneva trip. Vaughn tells her that the CIA is analyzing the contents of the disc they brought back, as well as the blood sample, and if SD-6 plans on using the virus as a weapon, the CIA may be able to get a jump on the antidote, thanks to Syd and Jack. Syd grabs her coat and looks like she's ready to go when Vaughn tells her that Will came to him about a job. Syd's all, whuh? Since when is it okay for one of my non-boyfriends to go to the other non-boyfriend for a JOB? Huh? Why did NO ONE clear this with me first? Vaughn's all, hey, take it easy, Catherine Tramell. Nobody's stepping on any toes, here. I just hired him to do some off-the-books research, okay? Keep your ice pick in your cleavage and back up a couple steps, sister. Syd's all, well, fine, okay, what's he working on then? Vaughn's all, nothing important -- just the KGB version of Project Christmas, that's all. Of course, Will doesn't know that. However, if you're bored and you feel like fucking with him, you can feel free to let him know alllllll about it. Syd gets all googly and says, "That was really nice of you. Thanks." Vaughn gets all googly back and says, "You're welcome." Smiles Of Impending Sexual Conduct are exchanged. Vaughn mentally crosses "Get Other Non-Boyfriend Stupid Job In Order To Increase Chances Of Seeing Syd Naked" off his list.
Meanwhile, on the streets of Hell-Lay, Lieutenant Loch Ness Monster and his stalwart companion Jack and the Beanstalk are making their way to some corporate lunch. They're about to enter the limo when Petty Officer Odd Fellow spots the figure of his supposedly dead wife standing across the street. And she looks mighty peeved as well. Of course, you'd be mighty peeved if your husband offed you in the name of mercy but really just did it to get ahead at the office. She disappears just as quickly as she appeared, but Regent Romper Room's curiosity has been piqued. Ron Rifkin's great in this entire scene, by the way. Not that he's not great in every other scene, but he's done such a good job of making Sloane a scary son of a bitch that it's really kind of sad and alarming to watch Uncle Bonkers descend into madness. And that's great acting, people.