Episode Report Card Erin: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Doctor, Doctor, Gimme The News!
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 11.09.2002
We switch to The Conference Room Of Endless Expositions as Dingus tells Jack how to operate the handcuff on the briefcase so that it will emit anesthetic from the briefcase. Now, you're probably wondering, as Dingus assumes we are, if anesthetic is pumping into the room, how in the HELL are Syd and Jack going to escape the effects? Why, because they'll have ingested a handy anti-anesthetic prior to entering the hospital, that's how! That Dingus! He thinks of everything!
Back in the hospital room, the anesthesia is releasing. In one fell swoop, all the doctors are down for the count. Syd and Jack calmly exit the hospital room disguised as doctors, and pass some stationed guards without fanfare. They make it to the area where the virus-laden patients are being held; Spy Daddy quickly takes out the two doctors on call with a tranquilizer gun, informing Syd that they'll be out for fifteen minutes. He gets to work downloading the viral research and instructs Syd to get a blood sample from Patient Zero.
Syd enters Patient Zero's room and is alarmed at how terrible the guy looks. What, did she think he'd be sitting up watching reruns of Jerry Springer dubbed in French? She shoves her hands into the Bubble Boy gloves that are required wearing when you're dealing with an Ebola-like virus. She's starting to take a sample when Patient Zero suddenly wakes up and grabs her arm, gasping, "Irina? Irina?" Now, even though the guy's obviously only got about twenty minutes 'til the pearly gates, Syd seems unable to extricate herself from his grasp and calls for a Dad Rescue. He quickly comes to her aid and barks that she shouldn't struggle, because the gloves could rip and she could become infected. He ups Zero's morphine. Just before Zero rides off on the wings of the dove, he whispers "Irina" one last time, definitely catching Spy Daddy's attention. With a last gasp, Zero slaps a bloody hand up against the Bubble Boy plastic, then passes out. Spy Daddy spits that his vitals have fallen below blah blah blah medical-gobbledy-gook-cakes, so that means the doctors, wherever they are, are gonna come running.
Spy Daddy returns to the computer and requests an immediate exit from a chopper nearby. Syd gathers her sample, being careful not to, you know, DRINK any of it, lest she infect herself and gross us out anymore. She wipes the sloppy end of the sample on Zero's gown, because I'm sure that he's not RIDDLED with the fucking disease on EVERY SQUARE INCH OF HIS BODY, and then gets the hell out of his room. At the same time, Spy Daddy nabs himself a copy of the viral research.