Episode Report Card Erin: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Careless Memories
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.12.2002
Sloane goes on to say something about how the ASA is staffed mainly by displaced Russian scientists, and their latest client is my ex-boyfriend, Sark. Or, as Jennifer Garner is forced to say for everyone out there who isn't familiar with my former lover's precious blond countenance, "Sark." Dixon wants to know why Sark's interested in launching a satellite. Well, according to Marshall, this particular satellite is equipped with a terahertz imaging camera. What in the hell does that mean? It means that the camera is capable of seeing through solid matter up to a depth of one hundred meters. In other words, it's equipped with the camera that Sydney thought she stole. Get it? Or should I have Viggo show up at your house with a terahertz imaging camera-shaped anvil?
Oh, and I looked up "terahertz imaging" on Google and it does in fact exist. This, and the fact that I'm spending ANY time looking up words on the internet that are used during Alias, disturbs me greatly.
Speaking of disturbing, Sloane demands that they find out just what it is Sark is looking for. Back at the Ops Center, Syd informs First Mate Forehead and Kommandant Kendall that Sloane wants her and Dixon to infiltrate the launch site in Sri Lanka and hack into the satellite, so that SD-6 can keep tabs on just what it is that Sark is looking for. Agent Amorous says something about checking with the CIA tech department about hacking into the satellite, so that the CIA can also keep tabs on just what it is that Sark is looking for. Kommandant Kendall points out that, while hacking into the satellite is a fine preliminary step to take, the CIA will want to know precisely what Sark's looking for BEFORE the satellite is launched. And then he just looks at Sydney. In that way. No, not THAT way. More like, "Dude? Can you do me a solid?" Syd knows immediately what he's on about. "You want me to talk to her again," she says.
Yeah. Yeah, he does. But, like, since you gave her your little "you'll address me as 'Agent Bristow' from here on out do I make myself CLEAR" speech, it really shouldn't be a problem, now should it? Kendall seems to agree with me, because he goes on to say something about how Sark's assumed control of her mother's operations -- "Please stop referring to her as my mother," snits Sydney. Why? She IS your mother. And by the way, if you want everyone to stop referring to her as your mother, then perhaps YOU should stop referring to her as YOUR MOTHER. I don't have time to go back through every episode I have on tape, but I bet I'd need more than ten fingers to count how many times Syd used the words "my mother" in reference to, well, HER MOTHER.
Kendall switches to "Derevko," but still insists that Syd talk to her. Syd's all, I talked to her before 'cuz y'all MADE me; I'm not doin' this on a regular basis, mmm-kay? Kendall pulls the Valiant Vaughn card and turns to Commander Cuteness for his opinion. Vaughn, caught between pissing off the woman he wants to see naked and the man who could fire his ass, just says, "Uh, I don't have an easy answer to that." "I'll take a complicated one," sneers Kendall. Hee.
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