Episode Report Card Erin: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Careless Memories
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.12.2002
Vaughn hits the stop button, introduces himself, and apologizes for the cloak-and-dagger routine. Will just stares at him, agape. "So, you're Vaughn?" he finally musters. Vaughn's all, yeah, you sound surprised. Why? Did Sydney talk about me? Does she talk about me? Because that would be totally cool, dude. I just dig her the most. Will's all, uh, no, dillweed. "I just thought you'd be...uh...older," stutters Will. Hee. He totally means "uglier," dudes. You can tell he was expecting Martin Landau or something.
Vaughn kind of nods his head in recognition of the fact that Will was expecting someone along the lines of Jon Voight in Mission: Impossible, and tells Will that the CIA wants to bring him in for some hypnotherapy sessions to help Will remember details of his captivity. Will's all, oh, yeah, sure, dude. I'm only trying to recover my life after being pegged a heroin addict; I have all the time in the world to hang out with you idiots and recall details of a time in my life I'd just as soon OBLITERATE FROM MY MEMORY BANK.
Agent Agitation informs Will that there's a car waiting outside to take him to his doom. Will's sorry to say that he has a prior engagement washing cutlery for his restaurateur friend, but he'd be more than happy to oblige at a later date. "Francie," says Vaughn, who of course is privy to every little bit of information about Sydney save her lingerie preferences. "Right," says Will, noticing Vaughn's familiarity with Syd's personal life and not liking it one little bit. "So, tomorrow then?" says Vaughn, making a mental note to tell Syd that Will has terminal flatulence. "Sure, okay," says Will, making a mental note to tell Syd that Vaughn made a pass at him.
Vaughn runs through some more cloak-and-dagger stuff about how Will is going to be contacted tomorrow, but Will is barely paying attention. "So, every time Sydney ran out the door after she got a wrong number," says Will, "she was going to meet you?" Vaughn burbles something about that being protocol and how it's a low-risk way to set up a meet, but again, Will is barely paying attention. "Did you ever give her a picture frame?" asks Will. "It was, like, an antique. She said it was from someone at work. It was probably just...another way to contact her, right? RIGHT?" Vaughn stares down at his shoes as if they're ruby-encrusted and he can just click them together and get his ass back to Kansas pronto. "Actually, no," he says. "That was just a gift." After about five seconds of tense "I totally KNOW what you did last summer" silence, Vaughn hits the stop button again, tells Will it was nice to meet him, and gets the hell out of the elevator. Will just stares after Vaughn, wondering if an Armani suit and a couple of extra forehead wrinkles will convince Syd to allow Will to fondle her frame, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
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