Episode Report Card Erin: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Careless Memories
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.12.2002
Elsewhere in the Operations Center, Jack watches the video image of his daughter leaving Mama Hari's cell. Yeah. He's not very happy about the shared turkey moment.
Speaking of turkey...Julio! Bring Mommy a snack! Viggo's too busy watching old Spandau Ballet videos to make me a sandwich. What? What are you doing with that...KNIFE! Julio! Julio! Calm down, Julio! Mommy just wanted a sandwich! Oh, for God's sake, Julio! Put the knife down or Mommy will burn you with her cigarette butt. Ow. OW! Julio, knives are meant for cutting lettuce and threatening stalkers; they're not meant for hurting the women who rescue you from seedy Florida cabanas! Is that blood? Oh, Sweet Jesus...
THWACK! Whuh? Julio? Where's my -- Viggo! Viggo, my hero! Oh, sweetie! I'm so glad you saved all of your props from Lord of the Rings! I knew that sword would come in handy at some point. I mean, other than those times when I'm feeling like a wayward bar wench who needs some discipline. Look at you, all handsome and dressed in white linen, brandishing a fake plastic sword that's drenched in the blood of my manservant! You are so HOT! Take me, eighties-drenched Aragorn! TAKE ME!
Ahem.
Siberia. Land Of Sub-Zero Temperatures And Films Involving Mikhail Baryshnikov. Syd shows up, wearing an extremely adorable white snow-bunny outfit, complete with gloves that don't meet the ends of her sleeves and a delightful hood with fox fur trim. Her accompanying team members, including Dixon, are sporting arctic wear that might possibly help them survive more than five minutes in temperatures falling below, say, thirty degrees, but Syd's all about fashion over function, so she's going with the Isaac Mizrahi-inspired Nanook Of The North ensemble.
In an effort to illustrate to the viewing audience just how damn cold it is on the back lot at ABC studios, the makeup crew has stapled plaster of Paris all over the faces of Sydney and Dixon and their nameless cohorts. This plaster of Paris is supposed to represent snow. It doesn't. It represents plaster of Paris.
Dixon shouts over the wind machine that he can't detect any other people in the immediate vicinity. "Looks good!" he shouts, wondering why, just ONCE, he couldn't be assigned to a job that allows him to parade around in a cute outfit complete with wicked-cool sunglasses. "We're all alone out here!" he states. Dixon then directs the two hapless soon-to-be-dead team members to guard the other two entrances. Syd moves off to enter the caverns. Dix instructs her to watch her step. "You fall through the ice, it'll freeze over in four seconds!" "Good to know!" Syd yells, echoing my sentiments exactly, and with almost the same intonation. She enters the cavern.
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