Episode Report Card Demian: A | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Big Gay Chris Went To 2026, And All I Got Was This Lousy Headache
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 10 | Aired on 11.22.2003
Cut to the garden where Big Gay Chris will not propose to LesBianca at some point in the future because he and I were married last summer. It's considerably cheerier compared to the last time we saw it. Unfortunately, that shattered sculpture at the far end of the lawn? Is actually an anvilicious angel. I much prefer it destroyed. An orb cloud full of Big Gay Chris slowly descends from the sky, struggles to coagulate, and eventually knocks itself together long enough to emit my husband, who collapses onto a stone bench. "You really shouldn't try to orb anymore," LesBianca notes, emerging from behind Archangel Anvil. "It could kill you." "Is that what you want?" Big Chris shudders, gasping for breath. "If that's what I wanted," LesBianca chuckles as she saunters over with her hands on her hips, "you'd already be dead. All I want is to bring you back." Big Chris wonders how she knew he'd orb to that particular garden. "Same reason you knew I'd be waiting here," she shrugs. "This is still our spot." Big Gay Chris begs to differ. "This is what we hoped it would be. This is what we were trying to preserve for our future." LesBianca cuts him off sharply with a curt "We were naïve to think we could change anything." Chris shoots her a vicious side-eye and wonders how "He" managed to drag LesBianca to the dark side, or wherever. LesBianca insists that's not important. What is important is that she was interrupted while fisting him of his powers, and if she doesn't finish what she started, Big Chris will die. Erm. "Stripping." Stripping him of his powers. "Think of it as an infection," she tells him, "and I'm the only one with the antidote." "Here or there, I'm dead anyway," Big Chris sighs, disillusioned and defeated. "No," she counters. "He gave me his word He wouldn't hurt you. Now, please. Don't make this any harder than it has to be." Big Gay Chris raises his shaggy head, glares at her, and orbs away. LesBianca lunges for his orb cloud, but ends up with a fistful of air.
Back at the house, Phoebe's joined the other Manor Morons for a processing summit when Big Gay Chris arrives in his sputtering orb cloud to collapse to the carpet in the hall. The Manor Morons race to his side and arrive in time to hear Big Chris moan, "[LesBianca]!" before dropping from consciousness into the commercial break.
Manor parlor. Big Gay Chris sprawls on one of the sofas as the Dolt applies the tingly touch to the gaping wound in his chest. When the tingly touch doesn't take, the Dolt realizes, "Something's draining his powers and blocking mine. It's like a virus." While the Manor Morons bang their heads together to come up with a plan, Phoebe's Fucking Backup Band kicks in to further along the plot. I think. "Oh, my God," Phoebe breathes, kneeling at his side. "He loves her -- she broke his heart." Whatever, Feebs. Still not buying this whole Big Heterosexual Chris thing, but you carry on trying to sell me on it if it makes you feel better. Big Chris's hand twitches, and Phoebe opens his fingers to discover the tacky engagement ring. "Obviously an acrimonious split," Raige harrumphs. Piper collects the ring to scry for LesBianca, and orders the other two to work on a vanquish "in case she's not willing to help" once they locate her. The ladies exit, leaving the worried Dolt alone with his younger son. Big Chris pants LesBianca's name once more before dropping his head to one side, and we…