Episode Report Card Demian: A | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Big Gay Chris Went To 2026, And All I Got Was This Lousy Headache
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 10 | Aired on 11.22.2003
…flash to the future Manor, where Lisa Kushell from Mad TV leads a group of tourists through the main floor. "Welcome to the Halliwell Memorial Museum," she tells them, "a tribute to magic and, of course, the Charmed Ones." She instructs the group not to take photos or use magic while on museum property, and adds they should ignore the whirring camcorders floating in the air, as "they're merely scanning for witches." The tourists follow Lisa down the hall as Big Gay Chris and LesBianca linger at the entrance to the parlor. Big Chris wiggles his fingers at the probes, knocking them across the room to scan the head of a dress form wrapped in a black evening gown I should probably recognize, but don't. "Nicely done," LesBianca whispers as Big Chris chews on one of his knuckles. By the way, the "Egyptian" urn from that first-season episode I have yet to recap is rather prominently placed in the parlor's display area, and I thought they returned that thing to its rightful owner in exchange for Clay's life, but whatever. Big Chris and LesBianca trail after the group as Lisa announces, "Around you, you'll notice just a few of the many mythological creatures the legendary sisters transformed into in their demon-fighting heyday." The camera pans past Pre-Raige's green velvet medieval gown, Piper's Little Red Riding Hood cloak, the gals' super-heroine costumes, and Phoebe's mermaid tail. I'd note the reasons why none of these items would be available for display, but we eventually learn the Memorial Museum's all bullshit, all the time, so why bother?
Lisa reminds the tourists that the Glamorous Ladies slaughtered more than a thousand demons "before they themselves were vanquished." She then plants herself at the foot of the staircase and activates a holographic screen that replays the scene of the reconstituted Charmed Ones basking in the bluish white glow from the chandelier. Complete with reverse angles and differing points of view and jump cuts at the entrance of Fruma Shax, but again, bullshit museum, so whatever. The one thing worth noting is that Lisa claims this event took place "twenty-five years ago," so I'll be assuming Big Chris was sent back from 2026. Lisa drags the group through the kitchen before directing them upstairs to the attic. Trivia freaks will be thrilled to hear that, as her voice fades out, Lisa drones that the original Manor was destroyed in the 1906 earthquake, but the house was rebuilt because of its location above the Nexus. Big Chris and LesBianca remain after the others have left, nervously grasping at each other's hands while gazing impassively at the cordoned-off kitchen table. A demonic bouncer squiggles in across the room to snarl, "Move along." LesBianca surreptitiously conjures a dagger in her right hand and waits until the bouncer closes in on them to spin around and plant the thing in his chest. After the bouncer's howled his merrily blazing way to Hell, LesBianca darts over to the cellar door and twists on the knob, calling for Chris to follow her. He tosses her a frightened and wary glance before following.