Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Bo Bice is the New Clay Aiken, Part III
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 3 | Aired on 01.30.2006
More wrap-up stuff: One girl throws some bows and Ryan pretends to get thrown to the floor, then later she actually hits him in the face and screams wonderfully, "Oh, shit! I hit him for real!" and everybody laughs. Ryan screams and hugs some girl who's losing it, we cut back to the cute Jeffrey guy that couldn't remember what was going on, and then simply says, "Yeah. I'm probably not going to be an exciting contestant" and opens his mouth in that I'm so crazy! smile, and after a hundred people flashing by so fast you wouldn't know if you saw them again, but chances are you won't, it's over. Fucking thanks for sucking, Austin.
Scandal Watch!: No more news on the Brittenum Twins (unless they've stolen my identity and are writing this recap themselves), but one girl I don't remember seeing (although she's a Hollywood hopeful named Halicia Thompson) had an arrest several years ago for acting a mess, and memorably -- upon being asked to keep her language clean for the kids nearby -- yelled, "Fuck the children!" ["Ah, A Different World Halicia. Still takin' care of the community." -- Joe R] No news on the War of the Simons, but Craggle has apparently mentioned wanting to bone Paula again.
Next week with Joe R.: a Lesbian singing at a Sports Game, a Whore, GWAR, a Screaming Girl, an Assailant, a Guy we've Seen Before, I think Clay Aiken is auditioning again for some reason, Pink Shrug with Giant Boobs, a Creepy Dude, a Weird Albino Girl, a Soul Singer, and then: HOLLYWOOD! The best part of this whole stupid show!