Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 114 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Hell is Empty
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 12 | Aired on 08.27.2013
Spencer: "Yeah, I remember, Toby. Why would they keep this a secret?"#PoorToby: "Probably because you're still in love with him!"
Spencer: "Oh boy. You're not making sense, which means we need to calm you down, which means talking about your prissy blowup at the hoedown. Which means I have to ask if you're going to run off like an asshole again."
#PoorToby: "Unclear at this time."
Spencer: "You could have sent me a text or email asking for space, and I would have given it to you. Instead, you repeated the exact sequence of events that led me to the fucking nuthouse. Do you not understand how selfish that is?"
#PoorToby: "I didn't think of that. Also, you were stupid for thinking I was dead."
Spencer: "Uh, no. You're stupid for not caring that I went to a mental hospital, rather than whether it was correct for me to do so. Relationships aren't debate club, you can't logic me out of reality."
#PoorToby: "Look, I run away from problems without warning or basic compassion or a single care for someone other than myself. Accept it."
Spencer: "I guess I can do that, considering I do the same thing in the other direction. But does this mean you're not going to look for A anymore?"
#PoorToby: "Yeah, I decided A's version of the truth is more likely to be a lie and also get us all murdered and probably was just intended to break the Liars and their loved ones apart, like always."
Spencer: "Oh, you just figured that out? If only somebody had told you that, eleven episodes in a row."
#PoorToby: "Kind of makes this whole dumb storyline about my dumb mom even more dumb, huh."
MONTGOMERY
Jake has fallen asleep while watching an old Aria movie I don't recognize but looks very suspenseful. The last old movie I watched was called California and it featured Barbara Stanwyck shooting people for no reason with no warning -- bedrooms, foyers, she doesn't care -- until finally they were like, "Barbara, literally everybody in this movie is in love with you, you need to stop shooting at us all the time" and she was like, "Shut up, I know... SIKE" and then just kept shooting everybody. It was awesome.
They were also into throwing bombs at each other, like old-time cannonball-looking Tom & Jerry bombs, whenever they got pissed. There was a mean industrialist named MISTER COFFIN who eventually fought a leprechaun to become the Mayor of Monterrey, and every so often everybody stops what they're doing to sing a song about the Gold Rush, or sometimes about fucking. It starts with a ten minute long song about California that makes no sense and has nothing to do with the rest of the movie. It is a men's chorus singing and then random people interrupting to say random things that are sometimes -- but not always -- facts about California.