Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 114 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Hell is Empty
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 12 | Aired on 08.27.2013
D-TEAM
#PoorToby: "I missed hanging out with you. Never had a friend before."
Caleb: "Well, stop faking your dang death and that won't happen. Listen, we're parked here outside Mona's house because I think this disappearance is a Mona trick that just happens to coincide with the manhunt for CeCe Drake. Thoughts?"
#PoorToby: "Nope."
Caleb: "Well, if this is actually Mona doing this, I'm going to murder her myself."
#PoorToby: "Did you sleep at all last night? Go home, I'll take over the stakeout."
Caleb: "Cool, thanks."
#PoorToby: "Bye, I love you!"
Caleb: "Aww, me too buddy."
HASTINGS
Hanna is trying to figure out the magic box solution, while Spencer lectures them all on the history of sawing a lady in half that is equal parts hilarious, creepy, and nerdy. Spencer is really going for it lately, I love it. Hanna yells at her after a few minutes, and then Spencer smirks at her pathetic attempts to recreate the magic of the trick. I'm not sure what we're supposed to parse out from this lecture, but I think it's just to make sure we know Spencer has a backlog of magic trick knowledge, and fandom (she even went to see Criss Angel once) so that once we get to Ravenswood she can save us from delirium with her stone-cold skepticism.
At a loss, Aria and Emily decide to Google magic shops*, but with the help of some targeted ads on the Website Page, they realize what they're meant to be seeing: The Great Charlemagne -- a Mime Magician who combines all the horror of clowns with all the terror of mimes and then makes it magical -- is putting on a show... in Ravenswood. Today.
[This is the point -- as things seem, halfway through, prepped to go right the fuck off the rails -- where, for the second or third week in a row, I wrote out my elaborate theory about all of this and then, by the end of the episode, decided it was either too true and coincidentally spoilery, or too crazy and irrelevant, and deleted it again.]
*Aria's like, "Is there a magic shop in town we don't already know about?" And of course you're like, "Duh, check Brookhaven and Ravenswood. One of them is a strip mall full of creepy shops and boutiques, and the other one, um, magic is fucking real".
Emily: "Spencer, get your car. We have a dimensional portal to traverse."