Episode Report Card Kim: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Miss Conception
By Kim | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.30.2001
Chris Elliott finishes up the paperwork for Noel's new job, and then gathers up his personal belongings. Chris Elliott explains that picking your own replacement is a perk of the job. Or a contrivance of the storyline. You be the judge. He gives Noel a handbook of some sort, and mentions in passing that an Art course needs a TA immediately. Hmm. Interesting. As Chris Elliott walks out, Ben walks in, looking for guidance. But wasn't that Chinless guy Ben's advisor? You know, the guy who made Ben take the placement test in the season premiere. Noel explains to Ben that he's just doing this until he finds something else. Ben says that he needs to drop some classes, and Noel starts furiously leafing through the handbook. I really don't think that Noel should be guiding elementary-school students, much less college students. I guess that's the "comic" setup.
Felicity gets blood drawn for a pregnancy test and asks when the results will be back. The nurse tells her that they'll be available the next day. That's so bogus. It doesn't take that long. Or so I've heard. Felicity explains that she can't get the results the next day, due to the beauty pageant. The nurse has her sign some forms, and gives her a receipt of some sort. The nurse suggests that Felicity can bring her boyfriend when she comes back, so that they can discuss options. Okay, the nurse would never say that, unless Felicity had previously mentioned a boyfriend. Maybe she would suggest that Felicity bring along anyone who would be helping her make the decision, or someone for moral support, but I don't think she would use the word "boyfriend." At least I hope she wouldn't. Felicity looks startled and then claims that she's making this decision on her own.
Tracy Scoggins demonstrates to the pageant contestants how to walk across the stage, and then asks for volunteers to try it out. Sarah asks Felicity what she's doing for her talent. Felicity confesses that she hasn't decided yet. Miss Bizzotch whips her head around and snipes that she can't believe that Felicity hasn't picked her talent yet, since it's 30% of the score. Shut up, Miss Bizzotch, and take the tired-ass Bedazzled red bandanna off your head. Miss Bizzotch adds, "Guess I know where my competition isn't." Felicity asks if Miss Bizzotch has a problem with her, and then says that she'll be dancing for her talent. Sarah adds that Felicity is a great dancer. Felicity says she's been dancing since she was ten, and Sarah claims that Felicity has won "big, big awards." Miss Bizzotch gets up and stomps up to the stage to try the walk. Felicity tells Sarah that she knows she should ignore Miss Bizzotch, but it's really difficult. Sarah relates that at another pageant, Miss Bizzotch put menthol cream in Sarah's bathing suit. Sarah adds that it wasn't "soothing or relieving." Felicity shakes her head in disbelief. Sarah asks Felicity if she's really a dancer. Felicity says that she hasn't danced since she was ten years old. Sarah assures her that it's like riding a bike, and Felicity says that it had better be. The two girls make fun of Miss Bizzotch up on stage, because that's how women bond.