Episode Report Card Kim: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Miss Conception
By Kim | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.30.2001
The hair and makeup artist finishes working on Felicity and spins her around so that she can check it out. Felicity has a huge bouffant. No, I know what you're thinking. Think bigger. No, a little bigger. Yeah, that's about it. Also, she has on a lot of makeup, especially eyeliner. Understandably, Felicity looks a little less than happy with the final outcome, but she's polite to the artist about it. He suggests hemorrhoid cream to get rid of the puffiness around her eyes, and hands her a tube. As soon as he walks away, Felicity touches her hair and mumbles, "Oh, my God." The girl in the next seat sympathizes with Felicity, and gives her some advice on how to avoid it next time around. The girl introduces herself as Sarah, and explains that she's been in eight previous pageants, because she's trying to get exposure as a singer. Felicity confesses that she's never been in a pageant before, so she's open to advice. Just then, Miss Bizzotch 2001 walks up and scolds Felicity for using her hairbrush. Felicity tries to apologize, but Miss Bizzotch isn't having it. Sarah sticks up for Felicity, but Miss Bizzotch walks away, professing her disgust that now she'll have to clean her brush before she can use it.
Javier walks up and asks Felicity if she's seen Felicity. See, he didn't recognize her with the bouffant. Javier stifles a laugh, and Felicity shakes her head, like, "I know." Sarah says goodbye and walks away. Javier warns Felicity not to get too close to the other girls. Felicity explains that Sarah is really nice. Javier thinks that Felicity is "so gullible" that she's "like a sea bird." Anyway, Javier has scoped out the competition, and thinks that Felicity is "the most gorgeous one by like a million miles, except for this set decorator, who's like Adonis." Felicity admonishes Javier, who claims that he's just looking, and then he gets back on point, saying that Felicity has the contest in the bag. Except that he needs to fix her hair first. Javier concludes, "If Elvis were alive, believe me, you'd be living in Graceland." Bwah! Felicity does look like a young Priscilla Presley with the big hair and the eyeliner.
Noel meets with a Chris Elliott-type guidance counselor. Chris Elliott explains that he doesn't usually help people who have already graduated, but this is a plot contrivance, so that explanation will have to suffice. He takes a look at Noel's résumé and notes Noel's decent GPA, extra-curricular activities, and position as an RA. Chris Elliott wonders why Noel doesn't have a job. Noel explains about the dot com crash blah blah blah economic downturncakes. Chris Elliott says that people always need help and guidance. Noel doesn't really get it, because he's there for help and guidance. Chris Elliott explains that he's leaving the job, so Noel can have it. Noel is surprised, to say the least. Chris Elliott says that the best part is that every job opening that comes in has to go across his desk first, so Noel will have a lead on the students for a new job. Noel wonders if that isn't kind of a conflict of interest. Chris Elliott thinks it's cute that Noel puts the students first, and says that he used to be like that himself. Noel just looks confused. Or, Noel just looks like Noel.