Episode Report Card Erin: B- | 107 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Welcome to the Apple Store. Would you like a gun with your iPod?
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2005.01.05
Syd wants to take it slow. Vaughn kind of half-assedly agrees. And then we move to the train en route from Belarus to Latvia, and the hot sex scene that everyone thought was going to happen right there either doesn't happen and happens later, or it happens but we only flash back to it later. It's very confusing. You'll see what I mean. So. Train. Syd and Vaughn are back in the baggage car, getting ready. Vaughn's wearing nerdy glasses and an overcoat. Syd's dressed as the Swedish waitress. He asks if she's ready to go. She says she is and asks if he is. He answers her in Russian and (as one of the posters kindly translated) says, "Nice tits." Sydney just giggles. And that little moment there is why I think the sex scene that supposedly didn't happen back at Syd's place actually DID happen and, when it shows up shortly after this train sideline, it's really a flashback. You can't change my mind on this. You just can't.
Nerdy Guy's Room. Nerdy Guy (yes, he has a name - but do you really care what it is? He's never showing up again, I promise you) is sitting at a table, looking through papers and smoking. Syd blithely enters and starts unpacking her stuff as if this is her room. Nerdy Guy says it's his room. Syd says it's her room. No, it's his. No, it's hers. No, he has a ticket. See? No, she has a ticket. See? They both have a ticket to the same room. Imagine that. Over in the dining car, Vaughn enters, dorky glasses and hot stubble intact. He makes his way over to the table with the green fountain pen and sits down across from…Rick Yune. Yummy. Rick Yune asks Vaughn if he'd care for some tea. Vaughn prefers bourbon. This is their little code word game. Vaughn does moderately well with the Russian accent. Rick Yune doesn't bother with one because he's hot and he's Korean and he doesn't have to do anything that anyone tells him to do. Back in the Sleeping Car of Convenience, Syd continues her Seduction of the Smarty Pants. She goes off to change into her slut-bunny outfit as Nerdy Guy curses himself for not bringing any Condoms of Contrivance with him on the train.
Back again in the dining car. Vaughn pulls out a briefcase and nervously asks Rick Yune if he really wants to do this in public. "Mr. Vadik is not afraid of the public," says Rick Yune. "And neither am I." So Vaughn opens the case, types something into the keyboard, and the interior hatch opens up, or whatever, revealing the bogus isotope. He places it on the table. Rick Yune reaches into his bag and pulls out some device and scans the isotope. We go back to the Seduction of the Smarty Pants, already in progress. Syd's in the nightie and Nerdy Guy's again wondering where he can get a condom on such short notice. Back again in the dining car. Vaughn nervously says something about how you can't test power with "toy from hardvare store." Rick Yune just grins at him. That man is dangerous. Dangerously hot! Thank you! Don't forget to tip your waitress!